brilliant compilation
On the theme of DP please see our website for a cartoon with Santa (reproduced with kind permission from the owner )
http://www.actnow.org.uk/
Regards
Ibrahim Hasan
Director
Act Now Training Limited
www.actnow.org.uk
On 18 Dec 2009, at 11:22, [log in to unmask] wrote:
> There has not been much response to the request for current humour in
> circulation about DP, so, with it also being a quiet Friday, I have
> decided to make the promised collated circulation (Part of the
> collection I have made) now rather than on Monday. Those already
> circulated on the list have not been included.
>
> Sadly the list mainly consists of cartoon based humour, in the on-line
> computer humour one liners I have not so far found much DP humour. When
> considered that does appear rather odd. Perhaps the humourists miss the
> dry approach.
>
> When searching with Google for - "Data protection" +Jokes -Policy - I
> kept getting responses for "Windows 7".
> Personally I could not work out if that was a joke or successful
> marketing.
>
> Because of ongoing use within the DP world I have not included links
> to the specialist data protection cartoon supplier http://amberHawk.
> typepad.com and others use.
>
> I hope I have included sufficient male and feminist humour for
> everyone to find something they like.
>
> Enjoy and, go on, laugh alot for Christmas.
>
>
> Ian W
>
> Pre data-protection but of quality and many are sufficiently generic
> to apply in DP settings.
> There is a potential benefit available with these in that it is
> possible to purchase copies of them from the website.
> There are many views which may be taken of these cartoons, so view
> them from your own office perspective.
>
> Appropriate, adequate,relevant,not excessive
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1851/useless-information.htm
> Perceptions of accuracy!
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1851/filling-up-census-paper.htm
> Recording opinions/Warning lists
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1849/awful-instance-of-perception-
> by-child.htm
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1852/man-of-opinion.htm
> Appropriate
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1855/appropriate.htm
> The progressive office/The train still standing at platform 4
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1800/a-quiet-weed.htm
> Microsoft security breach
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1846/wellington-statue.htm
> Enhanced vetting. (Maintain a strict DP view only - no other legal
> perceptions.)
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1853/anxious-moment.htm
> Strictly focused audit
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1847/nothing-like-system.htm
> Unpopular data entries
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1850/alarming-occurence.htm
> Another day in the DP office. :-)
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1853/alarming-effect.htm
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1845/making-best-of-it.htm
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1856/making-the-best-of-it.htm
> Attempt to defeat a spell checking cSAR.
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1852/alarming.htm
> Out of date data?
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1852/wiser-and-better-man.htm
> Data sharing
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1852/pity-the-police.htm
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1800/a-reflection.htm
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1850/briggs-pleasures-of-fishing-
> 9.htm
> Popular response to subject access
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1846/private-opinion.htm
> Unpopular response to Subject Access
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1850/faulty-mirror.htm
> Some mothers do have em.
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1800/a-fact.htm
> Untrained eye interpreting the data.
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1852/curious-person.htm
> Function creep
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1853/conscientious-stable-keeper.
> htm
> Fairly negotiating a data sharing protocol.
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1853/cruel.htm
> A data sharing protocol request.
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1851/cruel-seasick.htm
> Simply detailing a data sharing protocol.
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1848/changing-the-subject.htm
> Research data
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1853/picture.htm
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1853/misunerstanding.htm
> Organisationally protecting sensitive personal data
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1852/private-and-confidential.htm
> Data leak
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1849/misplaced-confident.htm
> Data quality issues?
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1846/pleasing-delusion.htm
> The difficulties of maintaining confidentiality
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1854/mysterious-visitor.htm
> Precious vetting.
> http://www.john-leech-archive.org.uk/1849/more-free-than-welcome.htm
>
>
> http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/d/data_protection_acts.asp
>
>
> Satire
>
> Most from this site display similar genre/themes within the parody or
> satire itself, that of the official outcomes of surveillance type
> mechanisms.
> Father Christmas
> http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i45428
> Data Profiling
> http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i37079
> Security - Childrens Database
> http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i46970
> Recruitment vetting
> http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i49062
>
>
> I was told of the following and obtained a copy.
> It appeared to originate partially as an advertisement for H&S
> services but did contain some DP type material.
> I have added some additional lines.
>
>
> The Rocking Song
> Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
> We will lend a coat of fur,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
>
> Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk
> of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur,
> a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be
> considered a suitable alternative.
>
> Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records
> Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby
> Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times
> and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking
> commences.
>
> (Computer specification for a filter mechanism.) Loose straw is a fire
> hazard so hot items should be placed in the snow drift by the doors.
>
>
> ----
>
>
> Jingle Bells
> Dashing through the snow
> In a one horse open sleigh
> O'er the fields we go
> Laughing all the way
>
> A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is
> considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk
> assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one
> horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger
> proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners
> before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not
> participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is
> moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
>
> All sleighs must be adorned with a prominent notice providing advanced
> information about cameras to riders.
>
> A highly visible notice board displaying details of the riders
> allowing anybody recording the ride the ability to appropriately
> contact those involved should be displayed. Visual representations are
> not acceptable.
>
> Whenever principle one issues are visible the objective is to treat
> fairly while using for the purpose and storing data in a secure
> location.
>
> Laughing during snow rides is officially seen as a dangerous
> distraction so any recordings containing such should be forwarded for
> immediate deletion.
>
>
> ----
>
>
> While Shepherds Watched
> While shepherds watched
> Their flocks by night
> All seated on the ground
> The angel of the Lord came down
> And glory shone around
>
> The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and
> safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without
> appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches,
> stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also
> requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of
> year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from
> centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
> Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his
> / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have
> been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects
> of UVA, UVB and Glory.
>
> Future intends to fit all sheep with their own personalised camera so
> they may watch themselves at night.
>
> Shepherds must list their flocks in the official livestock movements
> database which must be kept up to date at all times.
>
> Reports of multi-faceted glories which shine all around should be
> forwarded to camera control so official sanctions can be arranged.
>
> ----
>
>
> Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
> Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
> had a very shiny nose.
> And if you ever saw him,
> you would even say it glows.
>
> You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it
> is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the
> ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of
> Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory
> and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of
> this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions -
> including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this
> investigation takes place.
>
> Any identification based purely upon recordings of a round red light
> in the dark will be vigorously denied.
>
> Colour is considered an item of sensitive personal data so recording
> must only take place in appropriate and secure locations.
>
>
> ----
>
>
> Little Donkey
> Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
> Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
>
> The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a
> load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also
> included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the
> donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding
> period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from
> the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to
> prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed
> his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be
> simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack
> thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
>
> Mr.Donkey objects to loads of cameras so flash photography is
> forbidden.
>
> Dust on the working mechanisms of recording devices can cause damage.
> Devices must only be installed in environmentally controlled areas.
> (So thats the Copenhagen summit agenda!!!!)
>
>
>
> ----
>
>
> We Three Kings
> We three kings of Orient are
> Bearing gifts we traverse afar
> Field and fountain, moor and mountain
> Following yonder star
>
> Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be
> redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold'
> etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the
> potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A
> suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy
> cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
> We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by
> stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC
> routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest
> route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the
> guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three
> kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks
> for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust
> from the camels hooves.
>
> The three kings enjoy a good wine but champagne is not advisable
> during the travelling experience.
>
>
>
>
>
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If you wish to leave this list please send the command
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Any queries about sending or receiving messages please send to the list owner
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Full help Desk - please email [log in to unmask] describing your needs
To receive these emails in HTML format send the command:
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