...and one from me:
"Hello, is this Giovanni's Pizza Service?"
"No, this is Google's Pizza Service."
"Oh, sorry, then I've dialled the wrong number."
"No, you haven't, Google has bought the service."
"Okay then I'd like...."
"Would you like the usual?"
"The usual? How can you know what that is?"
"According to our records of your last 12 calls, you have always ordered a pizza with extra cheese, peperoni and a stuffed crust."
"Oh, yes, I'd like that again."
"May I suggest that you order a pizza with ricotta, rocket and dried tomatoes?"
"No, I hate vegetables!!!!"
"But your cholesterol is not good."
"How can you know that???"
"From your health profile. We have the results of your blood tests from the last 7 years."
"Fair enough, but I don't want that pizza. I've taken my medication."
"You have not taken your medication on a regular basis. 4 months ago you bought a package with 30 tablets online from the 'Sunstore' pharmacy."
"I've bought tablets from another pharmacy too!!!"
"That does not show on your credit card, sir!"
"I've paid in cash!!!"
"According to your bank account, you did not have enough money to pay for the medication."
"I have other sources of income!"
"That is not possible according to your last tax return, therefore it must be income that you did not declare."
"GO TO THE DEVIL!!! I've had enough of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and the like! I'm going to emigrate to a deserted island without internet and telephone where nobody can spy on me!"
"I understand, but before you can do that, you will have to renew your passport. It expired 5 days ago!"
______________________________
Dr Rena Gertz PC.dp
Data Protection Officer
Old College
University of Edinburgh
South Bridge
Edinburgh EH8 9YL
0131 6514114
--
The University of Edinburgh is a charitable body, registered in
Scotland, with registration number SC005336.
-----Original Message-----
From: This list is for those interested in Data Protection issues [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Ben Heathcote
Sent: 27 April 2018 16:22
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: [data-protection] With apologies - it's Friday
Glorious.
Ben Heathcote
Information Security Officer (Compliance) Information Security & Governance Team IT Service Newcastle University
NE1 7RU
Telephone: 0191 208 6950
Email: [log in to unmask]
-----Original Message-----
From: This list is for those interested in Data Protection issues [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Phil Bradshaw
Sent: 27 April 2018 14:45
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: [data-protection] With apologies - it's Friday
From the priceless Julian Patterson at NHS Networks:
In the consulting room: a mild case of GDPR In which we establish an evidential link between data protection legislation, headaches and depression in general practice...
GP: What can I do for you today, Mrs Smith?
Patient: How did you get my name?
GP: The receptionist told me before she buzzed you in
Patient: I don’t remember giving her permission to share my details with a third party
GP: It’s her job to tell me who you are
Patient: She didn’t obtain my explicit consent
GP: It was probably an oversight, madam
Patient: Madam? Why is my gender relevant?
GP: It may or may not be. It depends why you’re here
Patient: Well, I’ve not been feeling myself recently
GP: I see. I understand you’ve been having a lot of headaches
Patient: And you obtained that information how, exactly?
GP: It’s all on your health record
Patient: Did I consent to this use of my data?
GP: We need the information to treat you
Patient: Where is that made clear in your privacy policy? The receptionist never mentioned it. She just sent me in
GP: She may have presumed that if you made an appointment, came to the surgery and sat in the waiting room for half an hour that you wanted to see a doctor
Patient: You can’t rely on presumption. I should have been given a clear opt-in
GP: Do you want to see me or not?
Patient: That’s my business. I’m not obliged to disclose a preference either way
GP: This is ridiculous. We’re getting nowhere here
Patient: What are you writing about me? I demand to see it
GP: I’m writing a prescription. Take it to the pharmacy and they’ll give you something that will help
Patient: That’s outrageous. The pharmacist may be able to identify me
GP: We’re going round in circles
Patient: What are you going to do about my headaches?
GP: They’re perfectly normal. You’re suffering from a mild case of GDPR. It may seem painful now but you should make a full recovery by early June
Patient: So I don’t need to do anything?
GP: No, just get plenty of rest and try to avoid processing any sensitive data
Patient: Thanks for putting my mind at rest, doctor
GP: Why are you using my professional title when it isn’t relevant to your stated use of my data?
Patient: I’m very sorry
GP: Don’t mention it – you have a right to be forgotten. Would you mind opting yourself out?
Data controller: Julian Patterson
@jtweeterson
[log in to unmask],uk
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[log in to unmask]
Full help Desk - please email [log in to unmask] describing your needs
To receive these emails in HTML format send the command:
SET data-protection HTML to [log in to unmask]
(all commands go to [log in to unmask] not the list please)
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All archives of messages are stored permanently and are
available to the world wide web community at large at
http://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/data-protection.html
If you wish to leave this list please send the command
leave data-protection to [log in to unmask]
All user commands can be found at https://www.jiscmail.ac.uk/help/subscribers/subscribercommands.html
Any queries about sending or receiving messages please send to the list owner
[log in to unmask]
Full help Desk - please email [log in to unmask] describing your needs
To receive these emails in HTML format send the command:
SET data-protection HTML to [log in to unmask]
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