I'm proud of you, Dom, not the least for your having brought me to weeping.
The other "proud" is for your appreciating (a word that, to me, means what I
think many people call "love") your children and wife and parents. In case
you hadn't noticed, the everyday, miraculous action of being appreciated
also applies to you.
Best,
Judy
2008/7/3 Dominic Fox <[log in to unmask]>:
> On Thu, Jul 3, 2008 at 9:35 PM, Judy Prince
> <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Dom,
> >
> > I feel your pain, as someone here in the USA frequently says.
>
> Mine is more of a gripe. There are twinges. It isn't agony. There are
> rewards and consolations. The more significant of these are
> immeasurable: you just can't weigh them against anything you think
> you've lost, even personal dignity, freedom of movement, buying
> power...
>
> > When my son was 11, I suddenly recognised that he was A Person.
>
> My son is precocious. He's 8, and he's one already.
>
> > And, sadly, I was monumentally ignorant at being a
> > wife.
>
> That is a strangely lovely and consoling thing to hear. I think it's
> hard to be a spouse. Wifing and husbanding (husbandry? well, that
> takes us into an old sexist field of metaphor...) are not at all
> straightforward occupations. We start from a position of utter
> ignorance, and take far longer than we should at advancing beyond
> that. Ten years into the relationship, eight years into parenthood,
> six years into marriage, I have some rudimentary chops. I mean simple
> things, basic courtesies and kindnesses, the most tentative steps
> outside the circle of self-interest. It doesn't come naturally. Even
> though I think my parents are kind people, and have been kind to each
> other over the years, less of it rubs off than should. You really do
> have to learn for yourself.
>
> Dominic
>
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