Yes, R'Owl, you and many other divorced persons would say that.

Yes, we who've been divorced are, indeed, "working backwards".

Many of our children, partly bcuz of our marriage breakups,  are lifelongly
committing to partners, marrying them after living with them a considerable
time, as if to return us to the Old Days in MiddleClassdom.  BTW, in the
70's a divorce attorney observed that the reason for increasingly higher
divorce rates at the time was bcuz wives were at last making enough money to
leave their husbands.  Those women, apparently, were the "lucky" ones.  The
trend has continued, though middle-class wealth has declined.

A big difference in the USA, UK, and prolly most near-dominantly white-folks
countries (I don't know enuff first-hand now about the Asias and Africa) is
that now these middle class young partners - both of them - are working, as
well as trying to raise their children.  My mother and father both worked 60
hours a week, heavy labour - in their own bake shop.  My sis looked after
me; I worked in the bakery with my parents; and I was what is now known as a
"latchkey" child, tho we never locked our doors.  I was and am privileged
beyond belief, IM(never)HO.

Bear with me, R'Owl, bcuz I'm tryna get you married, for which It would be
well for you to begin what is called:   CALL UP A  FEMALE PERSON; TAKE HER
OUT FOR A GREAT NON-DRUNK, PLENTY-OF-TALKING, MEAL; AND WALK WITH HER
THROUGH SOME KIND OF LOVELY GREEN PARK.  Let me know how that works out.

Back to the probable topics.

Who's taking care of the children?  Child-minders (as UQers say) or child
care workers and nannies (as USAers say), grandparents and neighbours.
Increasingly, in the less wealthy classes, grandparents are adopting their
grandchildren whose parents cannot manage destitution as well as their own
parents did and are.  We have social chaos, blind education, unemployment,
and imprisonment as the damnable usual markers of relative poverty in our
wealthy worlds.

Robin quotes someone whose name he doesn't recall:  "Men love women; women
love children; and children love hamsters."

Who will care for our children?  Who cares for our children?  Children are
impossibly difficult to care for, but our pressing souls KNOW that we must
do our best for them, whether they are "ours" or others'.

You recall your father's "disciplining" the family dog.  I recall weeping as
my father kicked his (our) beloved dog down the basement stairs.  Dave
recalls a hellish life with his unwanted-by-wife, drunken dad.  These are
near-perennial stories.  What does your heart tell you that you should do
about the stories, about the facts, as we know them?  What will you do for
yourself?

Best,

Judy who wishes petc women would have the time to send in their opinions.


2008/7/1 Roger Day <[log in to unmask]>:

> "don't do it" is the most pithy I can manage currently. But then I
> would say that, wouldn't I.
>
> "wisdom": is that the same as acreted detritus, or necrophage to use a
> biology term? If so, I've loads of that. Not much good for anything
> though.
>
> I've a can of VB brooding in my fridge. Not very poetic though.
>
> Roger
>
> On 7/1/08, Judy Prince <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Nice, Roger (can you BE more a-littering? I think not!)
> >
> > Wonder if these poetry-head petc folk can match or steal as concise an
> > a-littered and "BINGO!"-logic phrase.....  And if you your very self have
> > filched this 3-word fillosofee, at the least DON'T TELL US!  Let us think
> > you cleverer than Sweet P who may at this moment be receiving yet a
> nother
> > superb snap (telepathically) from the brooding (!) VB.
> >
> > Now you've named where I'd arrived but couldnae describe:  working
> > backwards.
> >
> > Working Backwards also serves as a nice shorthand for Wisdom---wot one
> > "working backwards" person has tagged the lush circuitous musings that
> the
> > non-Alzheimered 96% of us over-somethings enjoy.
> >
> > Now here:  Re "weedings" I was acourse referring to weddings and symbolic
> > allotmenting.  Any thoughts you wanna clip off your bristly head and
> offer?
> >
> > the Other Judy
> >
> > 2008/7/1 Roger Day <[log in to unmask]>:
> >
> > > hatches, matches and dispatches. Are we working backwards?
> > >
> > > On 7/1/08, Judy Prince <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > > > We're done (or are doing) funerals.  Now can we do weedings?
> > > >
> > > > The beginning of married life.  Hmmmmm.....
> > > >
> > > > Judy
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --
> > > My Stuff: http://www.badstep.net/
> > > "I began to warm and chill
> > > to objects and their fields"
> > > Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
> > >
> >
>
>
> --
> My Stuff: http://www.badstep.net/
> "I began to warm and chill
> to objects and their fields"
> Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
>