what this could do with, given the form, is quite a bit of
condensing/getting rid of repetition, and some capitals & fullstops.
it would make it more forceful & crystalline I think, even if that
isn't your usual style Sharon.
think on't?
KS
On 30/01/2008, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> and, perhaps, finally...? -- with centered lines
>
>
> i ask for a dream to answer the question
> i dream of a seal an affectionate seal
> it wants to be in the house with the women
>
> it slips through the door like water
>
> the seal is blue . . . mottled . . . purple and gold
> it's the swimming colors of oil on water
>
> one of the women who lives in the house
> does not want the seal inside with the women
>
> the seal stands up in the room like a woman
> like a woman she walks on the shore
>
> the seal is innocent the seal is a blessing
> the seal is unguarded and fearless but shy
>
> she drifts through my dream like water
>
> she can swim in the depths she can surface
>
> her fur is thick and sleek and dense
> her fur is her skin of oil and colors
> the deep black-blue and purple of ink
> and the gold foil of secrets and vows
>
> the seal glides through my mind like water
>
> the seal is a sylph a cipher a bond
> the seal is a veil consummation
>
> the seal is an answer to every question
> she circles my dream like water
>
> --
>
>
> ~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
>
|