I think this form is an improvement, Sharon.
But I agree with Janet (I think) about there being too many 'seal's in
here, eg, you could ry something like
> the seal is innocent a blessing
> unguarded and fearless but shy
or you could argue that such repetition is the core of the poem....
Doug
On 30-Jan-08, at 9:46 AM, sharon brogan wrote:
> i ask for a dream to answer the question
> i dream of a seal an affectionate seal
> it wants to be in the house with the women
>
> it slides through the door like water
>
> the seal is blue mottled purple and gold
> it's the swimming colors of oil on water
>
> one of the women who lives in the house
> does not want the seal inside with the women
>
> the seal is innocent the seal is a blessing
> the seal is unguarded and fearless but shy
>
> it slips through my dream like water
>
> she can swim in the depths she can surface
>
> her fur is thick and sleek and dense
> her fur is her skin of oil and colors
> the deep black-blue and purple of ink
> and the gold foil of secrets and vows
>
> the seal stands up in the room like a woman
> like a woman she walks on the shore
>
> the seal slides through my mind like water
>
> the seal is a sylph a cipher a bond
> the seal is a veil a consummation
>
> she swims through my dream like water
> the seal is an answer to every question
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
& luckily people don't love us
for our virtue or
we'd be in a bad way.
Graham Greene
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