That's a very good suggestion, Andrew. I like the idea, and when I try it,
I see the very smooth fit. THANK YOU! I appreciate your careful reading and
idea. Sheila
On Tue, Aug 18, 2015 at 7:28 PM, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I like it, Sheila, for its centredness, surprisingly: She is the centre and
> they are outer perimeter. Reading it like this, I'd like to move the last
> verse first. Before you say 'no', try it. I think it works nicely.
>
> Andrew
> Peripheral poet
>
> On 19 August 2015 at 11:39, Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Where she is, they are
> > indistinguishable from the sound
> > of thin smoke rising
> > to the heat of afternoon
> >
> > Where they are, trees are,
> > along the warm cement wall
> > where they sit, and where she smokes
> > the slender brand, this gentle afternoon
> >
> > Where they speak, they do not hear
> > smoke rise toward the blue
> > behind lace branches where the shadow
> > mimics slight moves of receiving branches
> >
> > Where she listens, her small breath
> > is heard, not smoke, not voice,
> > not thin wind, just the blend
> > of each one being where they are
> >
> > Sheila E. Murphy
> >
>
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