I adore Milly's version, but I'm still on the hunt. Now it's become a damn crusade.
kwn
--------------
Ken Wolman http://awfulrowing.wordpress.com/
"All writers are hunters, and parents are the most available prey."
--Francine du Plessix Gray
On Jun 2, 2010, at 10:14 PM, Millicent wrote:
> I shan't muck it up for you further, but I agree with Fredrick in that you are too close to the subject and all you can see are the grief-points.
>
> Perhaps step away and diffuse the emotions?
>
> Perhaps look for the important lines, the lines which are important to the poem (not necessrily the lines that you are closest to)
>
> For example
>
> After Miles Davis
>
>
>
> It wrapped around his liver.
> Because the shock even under general
> would kill him straightaway.
> The vet didn't say "Man up"
> Said "I'm sorry” - I promised myself
> I wouldn't do that.
> He might as well be wearing a white wig.
> I am a slow study but started to sob.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ken Wolman <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Sent: Wed, Jun 2, 2010 6:46 pm
> Subject: Re: Veterinary
>
>
> This will reward study. seriously. Thank you.
> kw
> -------------
> en Wolman http://awfulrowing.wordpress.com/
> "All writers are hunters, and parents are the most available prey."
> -Francine du Plessix Gray
> On Jun 2, 2010, at 7:39 PM, Frederick Pollack wrote:
>> Even after eight years you're too close to it; you're thinking of your grief,
> ot of the reader. In grief, as in love, every detail is precious; for a
> arrative poem, most details are dispensable. Hope this is useful:
>
>
> Miles (after Miles Davis,)
> had something wrong; his liver enzymes were shot.
> So I left him at the vet to be examined
> while I went on a job interview.
> When I get home the doctor's
> British accent was unexpected. I'd expected.
> It's some sort of infection,
> here's a prescription, let him sleep.
> Instead this: "There is a tumor and the x-rays
> show it wrapped around his liver.
> I can't biopsy because the shock.
> even under general, would kill him straightaway."
> He had read Miles's death sentence.
> He might as well be wearing a white wig.
>
> I am a slow study but started to sob.
> Said "I'm sorry - I promised myself
> I wouldn't do that."
> The vet didn't say "Man up"
> or "It's better," but let me cry
> then gather myself to arrange the time,
> after hours, for the procedure.
>
> I came to Miles with an Irish whistle,
> played "Amazing Grace." He couldn't care less,.
> annoyed by the IV feed
> in the vein of his right rear leg
> he was trying to get out. I was just in the way.
>
> When the the barbiturates pumped into him,
> he toppled and died at once.
> We were witnesses in an execution chamber.
> I looked up. Tears ran down the vet's face.
> Months later I asked him, "Was I seeing things?"
> "I was crying," he said..
> "It's not hard to do if the animal
> is old or terminal. But after an accident,
> abuse, or in a young one,
> it's still very hard. I believe that Miles
> had life left in him but he had no choice."
>
> I imagine Miles as one of my children,
> not seeing it coming: the brake failure,
> the drive-by. Years later I surrendered
> an old cat, who welcomed her release,
> but Miles was surprised by a terrible grace,
> entry too soon into a world without pain.
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