H'm not necessarily, Nathan, more a certain voltage that can be 4
times 4 or can be something else. It has to be from the top of where
the anywhere is that any poem hangs from. Each thing has to be its own
way. Can't say anymore at the moment and sorry I'm so slow and
perfunctory in reply as my pal's funeral was today.
Best
Dave
2008/6/23 Nathan Hondros <[log in to unmask]>:
> Thanks, David. By shapeliness, do you mean of the overall structure, that is
> four stanzas of four lines? I really appreciate your views.
> Nathan
>
> On Mon, Jun 23, 2008 at 2:09 AM, David Bircumshaw <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
>> There are some brilliant phrases in this, Nathan. I'd wonder about
>> finding a more shapeliness for it, but I'd guess that's for a later
>> cast.
>>
>> Best
>>
>> Dave
>>
>> 2008/6/22 Nathan Hondros <[log in to unmask]>:
>> > I said more than a week ago that I was going to focus on poetry solidly
>> for
>> > a week. With special emphasis on internal consistency. A good first step
>> > towards that? It has no title.
>> >
>> > flame trees sleep off
>> > the fretting birds
>> > and the boy climbing
>> > for all he's worth,
>> >
>> > just to see what
>> > the tree can tell
>> > from its sluggish doze,
>> > through cauterised green eyes.
>> >
>> > on the ground
>> > i am perspective/convergence,
>> > a meeting angle bisecting
>> > just beyond his focus.
>> >
>> > climbing down quick,
>> > he has seen with vegetable eyes,
>> > and goes shrugging off foliage,
>> > the narcoleptic pace of trees.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > --
>> > http://nathanhondros.blogspot.com
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> David Bircumshaw
>> Website and A Chide's Alphabet
>> http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/
>> The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
>> Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.co.uk
>>
>
>
>
> --
> http://nathanhondros.blogspot.com
>
--
David Bircumshaw
Website and A Chide's Alphabet http://homepage.ntlworld.com/david.bircumshaw/
The Animal Subsides http://www.arrowheadpress.co.uk/books/animal.html
Leicester Poetry Society: http://www.poetryleicester.co.uk
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