maybe this?
Head crowded with voices from dreams
> I stepped from my house this morning
> into shivering air, trembling air, symphonies
> of waxwings and robins, a percussion
> of crows ... Why do we enter the future
> with the past in our night pockets? Trees
> shook with squirrel passions; goldfish
> drifted from the pond's dark bottom
> into pale water. At dusk the mountains
> were scarved with mist.
>
i don't think the stepping out can go -- how else to transition from dream
to morning? -- that transition being, in some way, the heart of the poem, i
think?
& yes, i have certainily been influenced heavily by translations from
chinese (& japanese).
On 4/6/07, Anny Ballardini <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Stepping from my house this morning
> ...
> ? Could this go?
>
>
>
>
--
~ SB =^..^=
http://www.sbpoet.com
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