Yes, Doug, I am there, hearing the voice wafting into the elevator. I agree
with Fred: the last line is too tidy and closes off the active image, still
constant and still craving.
Andrew
2009/10/1 Frederick Pollack <[log in to unmask]>
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Douglas Barbour" <
> [log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2009 4:14 PM
> Subject: memory snap
>
>
> that voice ethereal
>> soaring wafted
>> into elevator
>> rising in some
>> small hotel in
>> some small city
>> in what used
>> to be east germany
>> constant & craving
>> we rise too
>>
>>
>>
> Beautiful, Doug. But I don't think you need the last line.
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
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