Bravo! What a good result. Well done, Bill.
Andrew
On 23 July 2015 at 20:20, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Thanks, Pat. You keep me on my toes.
>
> Bill
>
> On 23/07/2015, at 7:14 PM, Patrick McManus wrote:
>
> > What team work!!! Well done Bill and it works better (imho!) p drifting
> > prosaically
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> > Behalf Of Bill Wootton
> > Sent: 23 July 2015 09:56
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Drifters
> >
> > Great idea, Jill. Thank you. I can see how moving 'into poetry' to the
> end
> > would justify use of the delay-inducing sets of parentheses. And the
> > 'uncanny' bit kind of doubles up the line about 'perception inverters
> > doesn't it. My test with brackets is to read it through without the
> brackets
> > and see if that works. So I have fiddled a bit again now and cut.
> > Transformations and propulsions have bitten the dust to allow 'drift' to
> > have its head.
> >
> > So, see Pat, all this advice has helped. I think so anyway. Thanks too,
> > Millicent, Doug, Max, Andrew.
> >
> > Here is my 'worked' final version.
> >
> > drift
> >
> > Can words drift,
> > (beginning prosaically,
> > informatively, looking
> > for all the world,
> > to be workmanlike,
> > jobbing sentence components)
> > right beneath your eyes,
> > and before you're aware,
> > (through dint of odd
> > placement
> > or line
> > turn)
> > into mood-changers,
> > joy-inspirers,
> > perception-inverters,
> > into poetry?
> >
> > bw
> > 23 .7.15
> >
> >
> >> On 23 Jul 2015, at 12:20 pm, Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >>
> >> Hi Bill,
> >>
> >> I like the brackets. Punctuation is there to be worked with (and around,
> > at times). I get how this is working with. Just a thought - and it's
> simply
> > a thought. To move 'into poetry' to the very end and do without 'into the
> > uncanny'.
> >>
> >> Cheers,
> >> Jill
> >>
> >>
> >>> On 22/07/2015, at 7:29 AM, Bill Wootton wrote:
> >>>
> >>> Drifters
> >>>
> >>> First drift
> >>>
> >>> Can words drift
> >>> into poetry,
> >>> (begin prosaically,
> >>> informatively, looking
> >>> for all the world at first,
> >>> like workmanlike,
> >>> jobbing sentence components)
> >>> and then,
> >>> (right under your eyes as it were,
> >>> before you're aware)
> >>> transform
> >>> through dent of odd
> >>> placement
> >>> or line
> >>> turn,
> >>> into thought-provocative
> >>> perception-inverters,
> >>> mood-changers,
> >>> joy inspirers,
> >>> propellers
> >>> into the
> >>> uncanny?
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> Second drift
> >>>
> >>> Can words drift into poetry?
> >>> Beginning prosaically,
> >>> informatively, looking
> >>> for all the world,
> >>> to be workmanlike,
> >>> jobbing sentence components,
> >>> then right beneath your eyes,
> >>> as it were,
> >>> before you're aware,
> >>> transforming,
> >>> through dent of odd
> >>> placement
> >>> or line
> >>> turn,
> >>> into mood-changers,
> >>> joy-inspirers,
> >>> perception-inverters,
> >>> propellers
> >>> into uncanny mind zones?
> >>>
> >>> bw
> >>> 22 .7.15
> >>>
> >>> Preferences, other ideas, people of the poetryetc?
> >>
> >
>
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