Thanks, Andrew. I considered adding one punctuation mark, a full stop bang in the middle of the poem, so at the end of the third stanza, which is how I would read it, with longish pauses after lines 4, 6 and after 'you' in line 17. Omitting the punctuation seemed to offer other possible phrasing.
Bill
> On 11 Jun 2014, at 9:34 pm, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I'm still digesting it. I'd love to hear you read it - to get the pace and
> emphasis and separation of phrasing. Like it.
>
> Andrew
>
>
> On 11 June 2014 20:07, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
>> Cheers Bill P now dimmed
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
>> Behalf Of Bill Wootton
>> Sent: 10 June 2014 23:01
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Subject: at 93
>>
>> at 93
>>
>> you learn
>> to park
>> your desire
>>
>> for company
>> so many friends
>> now dimmed
>>
>> new meets
>> no witnesses
>> to all you were
>>
>> tried and trues
>> address
>> your shoulder
>>
>> as if all
>> the others
>> might pop
>>
>> into sudden view
>> you no longer
>> enough
>>
>> bw
>
>
>
> --
> Andrew
> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
> 'Undercover of Lightness'
> http://walleahpress.com.au/recent-publications.html
> 'Shikibu Shuffle'
> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/new-from-aboveground-press-shikibu.html
>
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