Improved version noted, Pat. Although you don't, I'd suggest, need those inverted commas in the first stanza, and you need to insert a space between your dash and 'hunt'. Second stanza I didn't mean just excise the it's. Some sort of word reordering seems called for. eg a cat flap broke/back door broke/cat dragged in ... Your call.
Cheers,
Bill
> On 29 May 2014, at 2:22 am, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Thanks for comments Dog -Max -Bill a revised effort
>
> MISTAKE
>
> he realised
> that he had made
> a big mistake
> telling the cat
> after it had
> been meowing
> for yet more food
> just having been
> fed amply dinner
> both wet and dry
> to 'go out and actually
> stalk -hunt for a kill
> use some initiative
> use its feline skills'
> and went to bed
>
> later
> much later
> with a hoo-ha
> and a foofaraw
> in the middle of night
> somewhere near dawn
> broke its cat flap
> broke the back door
> dragging in its prey
> a Cervus Canadensis
> an antlered elk
>
>
> pmcmanus
> r528
>
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