Thanks, Randolph, I'll look at that.
The weather here is cool today. There have even been drops of rain. (unusual
for this time of year.)
Andrew
2009/2/14 Randolph Healy <[log in to unmask]>
> I take Doug's point. However, I think dropping the rhyme follows the idea
> of "falling away", following up the "pensive" as an act of reflection.
>
> Just a thought, but perhaps changing the final "itself" to something like
> "in any case" might bring back the rhyme at the end, a circular, if not
> egg-shaped closure, and double the reflection.
>
> best
>
> Randolph
>
> andrew burke wrote:
>
>> Yes, I only noticed that after writing - it wasn't a set musical piece, so
>> I
>> shall probably edit to avoid them. My wife hates it, yet my best 'editor'
>> friend loves it. Whaddyado, Magoo!
>>
>> Andrew
>>
>> 2009/2/14 Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
>>
>>
>>
>>> I like the thinking in this Andrew, but was prepared for end rhymes by
>>> the
>>> first 2 stanzas, not followed through....
>>>
>>> Doug
>>>
>>> On 11-Feb-09, at 9:37 PM, andrew burke wrote:
>>>
>>> After lunch I throw
>>>
>>>
>>>> the eggshell away.
>>>>
>>>> In my pensive mood
>>>> I think of it as everyday
>>>>
>>>> as the falling away
>>>> layers of living flesh
>>>>
>>>> as we go about,
>>>> walking, thinking, writing.
>>>>
>>>> As to the egg, I have
>>>> little knowledge to
>>>>
>>>> respond philosophically.
>>>> Instead, I brush my teeth,
>>>>
>>>> this habit of a lifetime
>>>> a kind of shell itself.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Andrew
>>>> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>> Douglas Barbour
>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>
>>> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ <http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/><
>>> http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/>
>>>
>>> Latest books:
>>> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
>>> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
>>> Wednesdays'
>>>
>>>
>>> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html
>>>
>>> Awards are merely the badges of mediocrity.
>>>
>>> Charles Ives
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
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