from New Zealand, circa 1945:
Captain Cook
Done a poop
Sailing up the river.
Struck a rock
Broke his cock
And left his balls to shiver.
Max from Taranaki
Quoting Judy Prince <[log in to unmask]>:
> Am enjoying all the petc nursery rhymes, but really, Dom, these are
> hilarious prizewinners, esp the first one and the English Country Garden.
> Best,
>
> Judy
>
> 2008/12/20 Dominic Fox <[log in to unmask]>
>
> > Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner,
> > dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner,
> > Batman!
> >
> > Ran across a motorway,
> > a lorry came the other way -
> > Flatman!
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > One unspeakably revolting one that begins:
> >
> > Scooby-dooby-doo
> > did a poo
> > and Shaggy thought it was chocolate...
> >
> > (I've never heard the remainder, as any child who starts singing it in
> > adult company gets shushed PDQ)
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > Postman Pat,
> > Postman Pat,
> > Postman Pat ran over his cat.
> >
> > Blood and guts went flying,
> > Postman Pat was crying,
> > now he is a very unhappy man.
> >
> > (many variants of this, one particularly grim one ends "now he's got
> > red wheels to match his van", another moralises "that will teach him
> > not to drink and drive", yet another "got done by the RSPCA")
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > More scat:
> >
> > What do you do, if you want to do a poo
> > in an English Country Garden?
> >
> > Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants
> > in an English Country Garden.
> >
> > Get a little spade and bury what you made
> > in an English Country Garden.
> >
> > Dig a little hole and fertilize a mole
> > in an English Country Garden.
> >
> > Make them hold their noses when you duck behind the roses
> > in an English Country Garden.
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > There was one about diarhhoea, but I've happily forgotten it.
> >
> > Dominic
> >
>
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