I didn't mean to imply that 'aloof' means 'impervious' at all. when I
said "'impervious' is enough" I meant that I'd amend the line
>impervious to cries & traffic noise
to just 'impervious'
KS
On 01/07/07, MC Ward <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> "Aloof" doesn't (necessarily) mean "impervious," but
> rather "distant," "removed," and "INDIFFERENT." Keep
> it, I say.
>
> Candice
>
>
>
> --- Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Thanks Frederick
> >
> > Consider your suggestions considered. I didn't have
> > the ;lit' there at
> > first, then thought it might add; if it doesn't, as
> > you suggest, then
> > it should go, yes.
> >
> > and yes, you're right about 'aloof' -- too much
> > there, thanks.
> >
> > Doug
> > On 28-Jun-07, at 3:57 PM, Frederick Pollack wrote:
> >
> > > I like this a lot, Doug. Fast rhythm /
> > alliteration in stanza 3, w/
> > > "small" in last stanza picking up "squall." If I
> > may make 2
> > > suggestions: you don't need "lit" in st. 2; and in
> > 4, "aloof" =
> > > "impervious": how about simply "the male's white
> > head"? The
> > > distinction "World"/"Planet" very nicely poses,
> > opens the door on,
> > > what follows.
> > Douglas Barbour
> > 11655 - 72 Avenue NW
> > Edmonton Ab T6G 0B9
> > (780) 436 3320
> > http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/
> >
> > Latest book: Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> > http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> >
> >
> > God be with you, my dears. You keep
> > the old bugger. I shan't be needing him!
> >
> > Norman Douglas (last words)
> >
>
>
>
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