Spot on, Roger! What's needed at any one time is not
necessarily a gardener who doesn't (yet) know a flower
from a weed.
Candice
--- Roger Day <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Yes, yes, a big juicy carrot - grown organically
> sans lapin - goes a
> long way. A harsh pruning with big shears can induce
> an adverse
> reaction. The more challenging comments can come
> later when the new
> gardener has become accustomed to the ways and means
> of this kitchen
> garden. umm. Maybe that was too much with the
> gardening metaphors.
>
> Roger
>
> On 3/26/07, MC Ward <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Gavin, I agree with most of Kasper's comments, but
> > wanted to add an encouraging note, which is that
> this
> > poem is so much better than the first one you
> posted.
> > I also think you're using the listees' criticism
> very
> > well. I know from personal experience that it's
> really
> > hard to be faced with a no-holds-barred critique
> like
> > Kasper's, as opposed to Doug's kindly advice.
> >
> > Candice
> >
> >
> >
> > --- kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > > you've given up the suffocating structure here,
> > > which is nice; but the
> > > same problem of lack of creativity persists.
> > > I feel as though you've gone specifically for
> > > clichés & platitudes,
> > > because this is just a list of them. (also, I'm
> not
> > > sure "angerly" is
> > > a word at all, though in a rare circumstance it
> > > might be cool)
> > > if angst must be the inspiration for a poem, it
> > > should at least be
> > > disguised & recreated, not just imported.
> > >
> > > KS
> > >
> > > On 26/03/07, Gavin Fagan <[log in to unmask]>
> > > wrote:
> > > > Loneliest Walk
> > > >
> > > > Silently I sit looking out to sea
> > > > Watching the waves
> > > > Foaming up
> > > > Breaking all around
> > > >
> > > > Remembering those Summer nights
> > > > Bare foot across the sand
> > > > The tide lapping at our feet
> > > > Arm in arm
> > > > Quietly we'd sit
> > > > As the sun
> > > > Slowly sank in the distance
> > > >
> > > > Now the clouds are dark
> > > > Tide no longer
> > > > Lapping at our feet
> > > > Waves angerly lashing
> > > > At the rocks all around
> > > >
> > > > Unhurriedly I stand
> > > > Recalling the dark night
> > > > You left me
> > > >
> > > > Step be step I walk
> > > > Bit by bit I feel the waves
> > > > As they climb
> > > > Until I have only
> > > > A picture of you
> > > > In my mind!
> > > >
> > > > Written by Gavin WM Fagan 2007
> > > >
> > > > Would like feed back on my poem, thanks.
> > > > [log in to unmask]
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Send instant messages to your online friends
> > > http://au.messenger.yahoo.com
> > > >
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
____________________________________________________________________________________
> > TV dinner still cooling?
> > Check out "Tonight's Picks" on Yahoo! TV.
> > http://tv.yahoo.com/
> >
>
>
> --
> My Stuff: http://www.badstep.net/
> "Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious." Oscar Wilde
>
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