This is unique.  It is the dark of evening and not of dawn.

        You know on the plane flying home from the Lilly Conference on
College Teaching at Miami University last night, I was thinking. I should
have been sleeping.  My body was so stiff I could have sworn it was in the
throes of early rigormortise.  I guess my spirit and brain weren't as
fried as much as I thought.  So, eye-lids that felt like cement blocks and
muscles that were stiff as proverbial planks not withstanding, a few
remaining drops of adrenalin stired my soul. I found myself thinking what
is it about the Lilly Conference that left me both exhausted and
refreshed?

        This was my ninth Lilly conference. It was as alive and crisp as
the first, second, third.....  There was no routine to it; no sense of
"old." Nothing was stale, not even the danish.  Nothing was stagnant.  It
was all movement. Like always it had a sweet smell of freshness and
newness to it.  There was that ever touch of the serendipity to it.  You
never really know what surprise is going to be pulled at a plenary,
keynote, or session.  A dog act last year; music this year.  Everything
there is so unstuffy, so "unego."  Is it the spirit of the creator and
driving force of the conference, Milton Cox of Miami University?  Yes, but
that is only a part of the answer.  Is it the dedication and commitment
and warm "embraceableness" of an every-smiling--and very patient--host of
the detail people? Yes, but that is only a part of the answer. It is the
conference's "smoozeability,"  as a new-found friend commented? Is it
those hugs and kisses of friends who meet this one time a year like lost
family members and the hugs and kisses of strangers who have become
friends in a few short days?  Yes, but that is only a part of the answer.

        I mean, if you were a proverbial fly on the wall you would have
seen and heard noted educators such as Lisa Newman and Wendy Larcher
belting out Motown songs with would make Diana Ross jealous, Linc Fish
cooking up his god-awful oyster/green olive/cheese on cracker concoction
that would make no one jealous, jovial Craig Nelson hobbling with his cane
but not with his mind and heart, Tony Grasha presenting a magnificent
conference-ending plenary, Folly the Dog with a name tag draped around his
neck walking among us, Nana Morrows dancing their glorious Ashanti
conference convocation, Lynne Anderson acting like a sprouting fungi
(which I learned is pronounced "fun-gee"), Alex Fancy engaging us with his
edu-tropes, Barbara Mossbert linking intricately and intimately the arts
and the sciences, name tags individually and colorfully decorated,
students play acting, faculty play acting, participants drawing and
computing and discussing and singing and sculpting and dancing, and
.......

        All of these diverse sessions, the constant movement of people;
the din of clustered conversations in the halls and over eating tables and
on outside benches and on the jogging trails, and even in the bathrooms;
the diverse participants from every conceivable discipline from proverbial
"all over."  What is it about Lilly?  Lots of smiles, lots of laughter,
lots of fun, and none of it frivilous.  At a glance, I;ve heard a very,
very few over the years who don't bother to understand, have called it so
"non-professional," maybe even unprofessional.  But, I have yet to find
finer, abler, more dedicated, more receptive, more embracing professionals
than those at the Lilly conference.  They're just smart enough to do it
with a smile here, some laughter there, a dance step here, and spirited
humanity everywhere.

        We all attend this conference, present our stuff, participate in
the stuff of others, write notes until our fingers are numb, move around,
go periodically brain numb, pull muscles carry handouts that collect by
the cartoons, get drained of every ounce of energy, are on an adraline
kick going for two to four days and then crash, get bleary eyed smoozing
'til all hours of the night in all sorts of places with friends, make new
friends out from strangers.  Eat.  Drink.  Dance.  Sing.  Getting stuffed
with delightful food for thought, delicious food for the tummy, and
delicate food for the spirit is only part of the answer I was seeking.

        I pondered that on the plane home.  The majority of the over five
hundred participants come as strangers and a majority leave as members of
a supporting and encouraging community.  I couldn't put it all together
and find that grand unifying theory.  Then, over somewhere between
Cinncinati and Atlanta, between fading in and out of consciousness, it hit
me. Or, at least I think I got it. Einstein get ready to move over.

        I shared my discovery with Barbara Mossberg, President Emeritus of
Goddard College.  Now, I'll "go public."

        On the surface, Lilly looks like
anarchy. It all seems so chaotic.  A lot may even look frivilous.  And
yet, it is so orderly. It is so guided.  And so professional.  Underneath
all the apparent surface chacaphony of sound and hubbub of movement, there
is a deep unifying rhythm of life. I'll call it my Lilly Chaos Theory.

        The Theory says that the apparent anarchy is order and the order
is anarcy.  It says that the apparent confusion, commotion, discord of
sound and movement, in the nooks and crannies in and around Miami
University's Marcum Center is all about changing habits, about struggling
to get into the habit of breaking habits of thinking, feeling, and doing,
struggling to get rid of old negative habits, and struggling to acquire
positive new ones.

        My Lilly Chaos Theory makes sense if you understand that we come
to Lilly so we can learn to program ourselves to be reprogrammable, to
learn to teach ourselves to be teachable, to learn to renew ourselves in
order to be a renewable resource.

        Should it be otherwise?  Life is by its definition reprogramming
and renewing, and teaching is part of life; life by its definition an
on-going, never ending story of change, and so should teaching.  The "same
ole, same ole"  shouldn't exist stagnantly in teaching any more than it
does in life.  Habit is nothing more than a disguised choice to which we
have assigned power and control over us.  Habit is only another name for
doing something we really want to do. Habit is something we do over and
over again so often it becomes easy.  A conference such as Lilly helps us
to see that what lies within us is far more important and potent that what
lies around us.  It echoes what Pirsig said in ZEN AND MOTORCYLCE
MAINTENANCE about things being so hard when contemplated in advance and so
easy when you do it.  So the enveloping spirit of Lilly helps us acquire
or start acquiring empowering habits to overpower disempowering ones; to
acquire or start acquiring habits that nourish our spirits and souls, to
explore who we are, to expand who we are, to learn about how we feel.  And
we leave Lilly beginning to see or seeing clearer that teaching is not an
act; it's a habit; it's filled with character.

        And, it is those habits which determine the quality of teaching.
I believe that whether we are conscious of it or not, we go to Lilly to
find a community of mutual support and encouragement--and the way--to
build character because character is not inherited. It is built when we
constantly strive to change and grow and improve, day by day, feeling by
feeling, attitude by attitude, thought by thought, act by act.  According
to my theory, we are guided by the forces of Chaos and go to a conference
on teaching like Lilly because we want to acquire habits that keep us in
motion, to explore and expand, to work better not just harder, to awaken a
boldness, to tap an imagination and creativity, to take us to a higher
level of awareness, to offer us a sharper sense of sight, to give up a
stronger commitment to the question than the answer, to give us a more
acute sense of smell, and we leave Lilly tired and numb, but so
invigoratingly alive we feel everything.

Make it a good day.

                                                       --Louis--

Louis Schmier                     www.therandomthoughts.com
Department of History             www.halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta State University
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