Simi,
I'm a PWD who was born with his impairment, but never a parent. I would
suspect that this is a very common occurrence.
Society sees the birth and or obtaining of a disability as a tragedy. For a
parent I would believe this would be componded. What is the first thing a
parent asks the doctor? "Is my baby OK?"
For us who are PWDs, we deal with it everyday. We have to find ways to get
on with the job of living. I believe that our disability/impairment becomes
an extension of who we are. We have "adjusted" or "accepted" or whatever.
I believe that when our parents see us with our impairments they may have
those feelings of having brought a tragedy into the world or feeling of loss
if their child obtained the disability.
These are some of my views. Does this help?
Thomas Hamlett
-----Original Message-----
From: Simi Linton <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Thursday, February 11, 1999 8:31 AM
Subject: Ruff's mom
>In Tuesday's NY Times there was an interview with Charles Ruff's mom.
>He is the chief White House counsel, disabled guy.
>In the course of the interview, the writer (not mom) states that Ruff
>"came down with a poliolike virus that has left him in a wheelchair
>ever since." (I quote this not to start another tennis match about
>language - although this is as ridiculous and problematic as
>wheelchair bound, but as context for the following:
>Ruff's mom is quoted as saying "He's handled it extremely well. Better
>than I."
>
>I am curious about her statement. It was my experience that my mother
>was "adjusting" to my impairment/disability status, long after I'd
>moved on.
>I arrived at disability in my early 20's, and I think my mother never
>quite got past it.
>I know this is quite personal, but I am attempting to write about it
>for a broad audience and I would like to learn whether this is a
>phenomenon that others can relate to or a more idiosyncratic
>experience.
> Thanks for your help, REply off-list if you'd like.
> Simi Linton
>==
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>Simi Linton
>[log in to unmask]
>212 580 9280 (phone and fax)
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