"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life."

	I didn't expect to have cancer; and, I sure didn't expect to face death by massive cerebral hemorrhage.  But, having survived, especially having survived the hemorrhage unscathed, of being consciously aware each day that I am what the neurosurgeon called a "walking 5% miracle," I know, intensely know, what it is like to have words in my heart that I cannot form.  I know, intensely know, what it is to be alive each day.  I know, intensely know, it is the greatest of all sins not to feast each day on respect, faith, hope, love, and promise.  As I just told someone, that I'm alive, touch the miracle of being alive, can spoil my three grandmunchkins, can cuddle with my angelic Susie, am happy, can talk with my flowers, can sip a cup of freshly brewed coffee by my koi pond, can notice the profound beauty surrounding me, am in the pink of health, am imaginative and creative, and am thriving is what most excites me.  Each day I live life to the fullest by cultivating respect, dignity, uniqueness, sacredness, faith, hope, love, and promise.  Each day I practice my gratitude exercises.  Each day, as Gandhi would say, I gently shake myself, and thus others and the world around me.  And, the irony is that I found the more I was committed, the more I persevered, the freer and more enabled I felt.  Because of all this, I laugh louder, smile larger, twinkle brighter, walk lighter, hope more, have greater faith, love deeper, am kindlier, am more respectful, and do it all harder.  It is my daily conscious practice.   My heart is filled with gratitude for the many joys, large and small.  They do so diminish troubles and oppressive challenges, for gratitude insures that nothing is compared to beauty, respect, faith, hope, and love.  They change reality for the better and make the world more than a bit brighter.  

	"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life"	

	So, I also am very much aware that self-conpassion is so very important.  We are what we have faith in, hope for, are kindly to, care about, and love.  That is, an academic who craves to do research and publishing, who prefers to be in the lab or archive or out in the field, who concentrates on getting promotion and tenure, is really a different person in the classroom than a person who truly wants to be in the classroom, who wants to unconditionally believe in each student's unique potential, who wants to have faith in, hope for, care about, respect, and love each student, and who wants to make a positive difference in someone's life.  Our wants tell us a heck of a lot about who we truly are, on what we truly focus, what governs our thoughts, emotions, and actions.  We are more defined by those loves than we think or admit we are.  Our heart-engagement, our heart-calibrating attitude, our habit-forming attitudes toward ourselves and others, is the epicenter, as Proverbs 4:23 says, of each of us.  The hard and often painful question for us to face up to, then, is:  do we really love being in the classroom?  The harder and more painful answer is that we can change if we care enough for ourselves and others.  

	But, from my experience, you have to recognize that focusing on yourself cannot be done at the expense of others; it cannot be done without attending to others.  They go hand-in-hand both personally and professionally. This is reinforced by the research by Elisabeth Dyers of Vanderbilt which shows that in being mindful--being alert, aware, and attentive--of others we help ourselves.  We worry less, sleep better, are less moody, happier, less angry, live more in the present moment with joy and appreciation, no matter what that moment may bring.   As Jack Kornfield said, we human beings are growing and complex organisms.  We grow best out of love, faith, hope, and caring.  We grow out of wanting to blossom.    

	We have to keep the door open for our own change.  We caregivers have to take care of our own selves.  It's the only way not to be overwhelmed, not to stop taking water from the well of well-being, not to cut off that which fuels our flame, not to collapse into frustration, faithlessness, hopelessness, resignation, futility, and even anger, not to have our springs of life dry up.  That's not being self-centered at the expense of others; it's learning to practice the skills of resilience; it is realizing that among those for whom we care is ourselves; it is balancing the caretaker with self-care.  It's keeping constant alert that we are human beings, that we have to care for ourselves.  It is hard; it demands honesty; it takes patience; it requires commitment.  There's no one sudden insight with which you can throw off the crutches and proclaim that you're cured.  Being fit extends beyond the biceps and washboard abs.  Caring for yourself is not just a seven mile power walk or upper body lifting or planking; it's not just keeping yourself mentally agile.  It's hugging your heart and your spirit as well.  

	"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life"
	
Make it a good day

-Louis-


Louis Schmier                         		http://www.therandomthoughts.edublogs.org       
203 E. Brookwood Pl                         http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta, Ga 31602 
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