sure
I* would go for jazz because I wouldnt want to delete rhythm and leave
jazz to be used that way
I wouldnt say "your own jazz"
we - well, some of us - don't speak that way here, old boy
though it works well with jazz as the remaining substantive
L
On 26/08/2015, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Or ‘ rhythm’… but I agree about the final 2 lines, jet too much repetition
> there…
>
> D
>
> On Aug 26, 2015, at 8:05 AM, Lawrence Upton <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
>> I'd drop the last two paras
>> and the word "jazz"
>>
>> L
>>
>> On 26/08/2015, Andrew Burke <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>> to put the rose
>>> in water
>>> take off the last leaves
>>>
>>> throw its growing arms
>>> arms
>>>
>>> make the rose fit
>>> our scheme of
>>> things
>>>
>>> *
>>>
>>> give old doubt
>>> the chuck-out
>>> get into your own
>>> jazz rhythm
>>>
>>> rhythm-a-ling
>>> ring-a-ring
>>> a rosey
>>>
>>> when you
>>> are coming out
>>> of clouds of doubt
>>> you want to shout
>>> and play - okay,
>>> that is it day
>>> the end of play
>>>
>>> ~
>>>
>>> Just a page from a scrappy notebook, trying to get something going.
>>>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2
> (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>
> Done in by creation itself.
>
> I mean the gods. Not us. Well us too.
> The gods moved into books. Who wrote the books?
> We wrote the books. In whose dream, then are we dreaming?
>
> Robert Kroetsch.
>
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