Yeah, it’s a question of how to get at the perception, I guess, Bill.
I’ll think on removing that line; not sure it’s quite a title….
Doug
On Jan 29, 2015, at 2:02 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Interesting, Doug, that you 'added that first line'. Most people remove their first lines, do they not? And in fact, I can see merit in removing it, and perhaps elevating 'Casual glance' or 'A/The Casual Glance' to title status.
>
> Back to the 'and', ampersand ex or not, I can see how it sort of adds to the 'rhythm' of the neck inclination or eye dart required to take in those reflections.
>
> Bill
>
>
>> On 30 Jan 2015, at 4:46 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>> Thanks Patrick (for that comment) & thanks everyone.
>>
>> Bill: I thought about that, but when I added that first line, it felt right to let it be an & (or and) situation…
>>
>> Doug
>>> On Jan 29, 2015, at 2:23 AM, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>>
>>> Bill it reads differently for me without the ampersand -but personally I
>>> would prfer just 'and' also it relates nicely to the second verse -but what
>>> do I know anyway -now to attempt to disconnect my ancient washine? Washing !
>>> machine
>>> P battling on
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
>>> Behalf Of Bill Wootton
>>> Sent: 29 January 2015 06:55
>>> To: [log in to unmask]
>>> Subject: Re: snap 28/01/15
>>>
>>> Neat, Doug. Is the ampersand necessary?
>>>
>>> Bill
>>>
>>>
>>>> On 29 Jan 2015, at 7:19 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> a casual glance &
>>>> caught under
>>>> the incandescents
>>>>
>>>> her long hair shifts
>>>> shadow lines flow
>>>> up & down the compacted strands
>>>>
>>>> Douglas Barbour
>>>> [log in to unmask]
>>>>
>>>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2
>>> (UofAPress).
>>>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>>>>
>>>> that we are only
>>>> as we find out we are
>>>>
>>>> Charles Olson
>>>>
>>>
>>
>> Douglas Barbour
>> [log in to unmask]
>>
>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>>
>> that we are only
>> as we find out we are
>>
>> Charles Olson
>>
>
Douglas Barbour
[log in to unmask]
Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
that we are only
as we find out we are
Charles Olson
|