 |
 |
Yeah, it’s a question of how to get at the perception, I guess, Bill. I’ll think on removing that line; not sure it’s quite a title…. Doug On Jan 29, 2015, at 2:02 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Interesting, Doug, that you 'added that first line'. Most people remove their first lines, do they not? And in fact, I can see merit in removing it, and perhaps elevating 'Casual glance' or 'A/The Casual Glance' to title status. > > Back to the 'and', ampersand ex or not, I can see how it sort of adds to the 'rhythm' of the neck inclination or eye dart required to take in those reflections. > > Bill > > >> On 30 Jan 2015, at 4:46 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote: >> >> Thanks Patrick (for that comment) & thanks everyone. >> >> Bill: I thought about that, but when I added that first line, it felt right to let it be an & (or and) situation… >> >> Doug >>> On Jan 29, 2015, at 2:23 AM, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote: >>> >>> Bill it reads differently for me without the ampersand -but personally I >>> would prfer just 'and' also it relates nicely to the second verse -but what >>> do I know anyway -now to attempt to disconnect my ancient washine? Washing ! >>> machine >>> P battling on >>> >>> -----Original Message----- >>> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On >>> Behalf Of Bill Wootton >>> Sent: 29 January 2015 06:55 >>> To: [log in to unmask] >>> Subject: Re: snap 28/01/15 >>> >>> Neat, Doug. Is the ampersand necessary? >>> >>> Bill >>> >>> >>>> On 29 Jan 2015, at 7:19 am, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote: >>>> >>>> a casual glance & >>>> caught under >>>> the incandescents >>>> >>>> her long hair shifts >>>> shadow lines flow >>>> up & down the compacted strands >>>> >>>> Douglas Barbour >>>> [log in to unmask] >>>> >>>> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 >>> (UofAPress). >>>> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). >>>> >>>> that we are only >>>> as we find out we are >>>> >>>> Charles Olson >>>> >>> >> >> Douglas Barbour >> [log in to unmask] >> >> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress). >> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). >> >> that we are only >> as we find out we are >> >> Charles Olson >> > Douglas Barbour [log in to unmask] Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress). Recording Dates (Rubicon Press). that we are only as we find out we are Charles Olson