Much feline potential here, Pat. I'd suggest some cuts eg 'then meowing' and some tidying up of the lines at the close of that first stanza or even insertion of clarifying commas. Second stanza is a hoot. Maybe cut the it's somehow? Love foofaraw!
Cheers,
Bill
> On 28 May 2014, at 4:26 pm, Patrick McManus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> MISTAKE
>
> he realised
> that he had made
> a big mistake
> telling the cat
> after it had
> been meowing
> then meowing
> for yet more food
> just having being
> fed amply dinner
> both wet and dry
> to go out and actually
> stalk -hunt for some
> use some initiative
> use its feline skills
> and went to bed
>
> later
> much later
> with a hoo-ha
> a foofaraw
> in the middle of night
> somewhere near dawn
> it broke its cat flap
> it broke the back door
> dragging in its prey
> a Cervus Canadensis
> an antlered elk
>
>
> pmcmanus
> r528
>
>
> still playing with this any comments welcome!!!
>
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