Thanks, Jill, Doug.
Re 'diaphanous', I had 'diaphanous, sheer' at first but realised the redundancy and chopped, maybe the wrong word. The poem is an omnibus of two earlier snaps, the second starting with the girl sunning but I can see merit in starting from the balcony as you suggest, Jill. The third line, Doug, was part of the softness of the first glimpse but isn't necessary to the observation of the girl, I suppose, except perhaps, as contrast. Will think on it.
Bill
On 05/09/2013, at 6:36 AM, Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> a glimpse in motion, Bill, but that 3rd line stops it for a bit; not necessary I think…
>
> Doug
> On 2013-09-03, at 4:08 PM, Bill Wootton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> Avignon glimpse
>>
>> A diaphanous white curtain
>> wafts
>> as if waved by an unseen hand
>> revealing
>> wrought iron balconies
>> at eye level,
>> then
>> misting
>> bare linden trees
>> in the cobbled square below,
>> where a girl sits
>> sunning her legs
>> on a café chair,
>> smoking Winstons ferociously
>> before accepting a question
>> from one of two young labourers
>> in shorts and workboots
>> who has come up
>> behind her;
>> waves her hand,
>> mutters something in French,
>> stares straight ahead,
>> exhales,
>> waits:
>> un, deux,
>> turns,
>> snatches up her handbag and smokes,
>> arcs off in their direction.
>>
>> bw
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>
> Something else is out there
> godamnit
>
> And I want to hear it
>
> C.D.Wright
>
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