Thanks Doug. Hope it's not too neat. Will look again at first stanza.
J
On 05/09/2013, at 6:15 AM, Douglas Barbour wrote:
> So all is. That's there, Jill, neatly tied up. ALthough I'm not sure of that 'Even the ravens are chased away' line, that passive construction (I think I'm wanting the 'are' deleted from that line & the one before somehow)…
>
> The 2nd stanza rocks much harder…
>
> Doug
>
> On 2013-09-03, at 8:49 PM, Jill Jones <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>>
>>
>> THE HANDLE, BROKEN
>>
>>
>>
>> The yard full of dark and the rabbit’s eye
>>
>> How does light get through the day
>>
>> Flaring and the metal cools under the tendril
>>
>> ivy, all the weeds holding their poison
>>
>> The next door children crying, are a hobby
>>
>> Even the ravens are chased away
>>
>> The possums huffing in branches above
>>
>>
>>
>> But who are pests, the yearly caterpillars
>>
>> crossing paths, here’s the corrosion
>>
>> in the downpipe flaking easily, water
>>
>> seeps out of the world, clouds look dark
>>
>> and scattered, smoking
>>
>>
>>
>> JJ
>>
>>
>>
>
> Douglas Barbour
> [log in to unmask]
>
> Recent publications: (With Sheila E Murphy) Continuations & Continuation 2 (UofAPress).
> Recording Dates (Rubicon Press).
>
> Something else is out there
> godamnit
>
> And I want to hear it
>
> C.D.Wright
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