Since the most recent posts, I have been thinking about what my hopes were when I originally posted here, and also prompted by Jacqui, what my needs are and were. Jacqui, you are right, my initial need was to clarify my anxiety as to whether I was ‘unusual’ in experiencing these dilemmas, hoping that others would also share similar feelings. As I have heard from others I have felt less like a ‘bad’ psychologist. However my needs have changed as I have felt a greater sense of solidarity, including with people who have provided a critical voice. In this I share and appreciate Carl’s view that by experiencing the solidarity I find myself more receptive to thinking about another’s approach.
Whilst experiencing solidarity and hearing critique, I’m not sure I would like my skin to toughen up and consequently effect the way I respond to things. I’d rather like my communication to encourage and facilitate communication with others, particularly those who are feeling less confident or not as brave to also share their views. In this, I hope my communication will create a greater inclusive community.
In my mind, the comment you heard Wendy of flying ‘under the radar’ is something that I find myself saying occasionally, but those who know me will know that this is something that I find difficult! I hold the hope that each time I put my head above the parapet, it grows back if it gets hit. In doing so, I hope my practice (whilst not as subversive or liberatory as I would like or others do practice) continues to contribute small challenges to the system, perhaps Carl your role as staff governor can be a context in which this can be achieved going for the small wins. In this way also, perhaps it could be argued that the state is paying you to fulfil a role, could how that role is fulfilled be up for debate?
I am really grateful for the comments here and private emails. I started this post mentioning how my needs had changed, and for me it has moved from sharing and reflecting with you my dilemma, to thinking about actions including those that were emailed to me. Some of us will inevitably continue to contribute to part of the problem, but I share Wendy’s illusion/delusion/hope that the power we have can continue to challenge and influence the system from the inside as well as outside.
I wanted to also share something that was emailed to me in response to my post, I really valued what was shared and hope it continues to create discussion, thought and of course action.
http://narrativetherapyonline.com/moodle/mod/resource/view.php?id=590
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