Out of the blue came a one line e-mail from a professor whom I didn't know: "Your Teacher's Oath! You're an impossible idealist,"
"You're wrong," I replied, seizing on the opportunity she presented me. "I don't like that word, 'impossible.' It's such a stagnant word that has no place in a dynamic and ever-changing world. It sets off an unnatural 'can't-won't-don't' static chain reaction. Remember Luke Skywalker, when asked by Yoda to use the power of The Force to raise the star fighter from the swamp? Luke said, 'I can't believe it.' Yoda answered, 'That is why you fail.' No, I believe. Twenty years ago, in the autumn of 1991, which turned out to be the springtime of my life, when I had my epiphany, I enlisted the help of an apostrophe. I started struggling to change a disbelieving and weakening 'impossible' that was stopping me into a believing and invigorating 'I'M possible' that would urge me on. I had written it down. I had taped it above my computer so I saw it each day. I had said it to myself at the beginning of each day: 'I'M possible;' 'I'M possible;' 'I'M possible.' But, I saying it was the easy part; learning to live it was the demanding but meaningful part. And, believe me when I say that it was a long hard struggle, it was. Sometimes it still is. I learned that just last week when I momentarily faltered and a colleague from Georgia Southern caught me and lifted me up. But, I have found that belief and faith and hope--and lots of love--are the stuff that magic is always--always--made of." So, I am a determined 'possible-ist.' As I tell students and myself, 'Impossible things are done everyday.'"
"Now, as to being an idealist. Guilty, with explanation. I call myself am a 'realistic idealist.' My sons call me a 'romantic realist.' Sure, I've got my head in the clouds. But, I keep my feet on the ground. Look, I believe in and live my vision; I believe in and live my Teacher's Oath. I believe each student has a unique potential. I believe in my ability to touch students. I have unfading belief. I have endless faith. I have unbounding hope. I have unconditional love. They're what drive me. They're what keep the juices flowing, They're what make teaching novel and interesting. They're what keep me determined to overcome whatever seems insurmountable at the time. They are what make teaching interesting, enjoyable, sustainable, meaningful, satisfying, significant, and fulfilling. They're what keeps teaching for me fun. They're, among other things, what keeps me young at heart."
"But, I don't overestimate me. Unrealistic goals and expectations are a formula for frustration, anger, resignation, disillusionment, sadness, and failure. Living and working in the South all these decades, however, I have come to have 'true grits.' And, the only unrealistic games in town are the 'perfection' game, the '100%' game,' and the 'I don't have to change' game. Now, I'm committed to this never-ending journey knowing I will never totally 'get it' and will never 'get there.' As I told a dear colleague recently, the second I think I've 'got it,' I've lost it; and the moment I think I've 'gotten there,' I'm lost. But, hey, I'm a reasonable guy. So, I don't underestimate how tough and demanding of time and effort it is to live my vision. I know it's not a piece of cake. I know I'm swimming upstream. I know learning on both sides of the podium is a process of unlearning. I know I'm taking on and trying to help students unlearn twelve years of school habits, as well as demands and pressures imposed by parents and others. I know I'm taking on colleagues who, knowingly or unwittingly, reinforce those habits with which students come to us. I know there are no magic wands, no instant tricks, no sure fire recipes, no guarantees, or no fix-it manuals. I know I can't focus on being 'good,' only on 'getting better.' I know it takes sweat equity, a lot of sweat equity. I know it's worth my time, planning, reflecting, experimenting, efforts, persistence, perseverance, commitment. I know I have to constantly engage in an emotion, mental, and social workout to build up and maintain my will spiritual muscles."
"Now, I know there will be setbacks. I know I will make mistakes and things won't always work or work out with everyone, everywhere, all the time. But, I give myself a break. I don't beat myself up. I know I am not perfect and things never go perfectly. I know I have to have patience to learn, especially from my screw ups. I have to constantly self-reflect, self-evaluate, try new methods, experiment with new technologies, risk failure. I extract knowledge from the times things don't succeed. I know not to tempt fate and respect limitations. I know nothing will work perfectly, all the time, everywhere, with everyone. In fact, nothing works perfectly. Period. I know I can't, as you say, 'get to them all.' But, I know this. So, I don't stress over it. Nothing will change if I anxiously focus on 'I can't' or 'I won't' instead of 'what if' or 'I can,' if I don't change, and if I am not the model of the change I wish to occur."
I do know I have to practice 'awareness,' 'otherness,' and 'attentiveness.' I do know I have to be pushed, pulled, and directed by 'purposefulness' and 'meaningfulness' and 'service.' I do know that if ever I think it's easy and effortless, I won't make the effort; if ever I think I can do this in my sleep, I will be sleepwalking, I will be adrift, I won't be ready for what's ahead, I'll lose my edge, I'll get complacently flabby, I'll lower my antennae, and I will increase the odds of screwing up things. 'Impossible? No. Idealist? Sure, but someone must have said that reality is ideals come true. That's true."
Make it a good day
-Louis-
Louis Schmier http://www.therandomthoughts.edublogs.org
Department of History http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, Georgia 31698 /\ /\ /\ /\ /\
(O) 229-333-5947 /^\\/ \/ \ /\/\__ / \ / \
(C) 229-630-0821 / \/ \_ \/ / \/ /\/ / \ /\ \
//\/\/ /\ \__/__/_/\_\/ \_/__\ \
/\'If you want to climb mountains,\ /\
_ / \ don't practice on mole hills' - / \_
|