Of course, the poem could provide some with 'neo-romantic transgressive delight' if all the 'her' words were changed to 'him'.
Stephen V
http://stephenvincent.net/blog/
--- On Thu, 2/19/09, Tim Allen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
From: Tim Allen <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: Snap - what she does
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 9:26 AM
I have to agree with Andrew here, especially about the 'cutesy'
inversion. Now here is a darker one altogether...
the dark undresses her
as though she were alone
she is alone
Tim A.
On 18 Feb 2009, at 23:14, andrew burke wrote:
> Well, perhaps I am a natural dissenter, but this poem doesn't do it
for me
> because of the cutesy abstraction of reversing the obvious image -
> undressing the night. An original and imaginative concrete description of
> her actions in the night would achieve a far greater emotional response in
> this reader, for one. Martin is a gentle man and a gentleman - he has
> filtered the gently erotic image through his sensibilities, shyly. Pull
> aside the curtain, Martin, and write it with passion!
>
> Andrew
>
>
> 2009/2/19 Millicent Accardi <[log in to unmask]>
>
>> I LOVE this poem Martin!
>>
>>
>> Cheers,
>>
>> Millicent
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]>
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Sent: Wed, 18 Feb 2009 8:46 am
>> Subject: Re: Snap - what she does
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> lovely poem, Martin, and thank you! sheila
>>
>> On Wed, Feb 18, 2009 at 3:20 AM, Martin Dolan
<[log in to unmask]
>>> wrote:
>>
>>> she undresses the dark
>>> smoothly, without hurry
>>> as though she were alone
>>>
>>> she undresses the dark
>>> there beside the window
>>> and stands in the moonlight
>>>
>>> she undresses the dark
>>> by touch, without looking
>>> and night falls to the floor
>>>
>>
>
>
>
> --Andrew
> http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
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