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Of course, the poem could provide some with 'neo-romantic transgressive delight' if all the 'her' words were changed to 'him'. Stephen V http://stephenvincent.net/blog/ --- On Thu, 2/19/09, Tim Allen <[log in to unmask]> wrote: From: Tim Allen <[log in to unmask]> Subject: Re: Snap - what she does To: [log in to unmask] Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009, 9:26 AM I have to agree with Andrew here, especially about the 'cutesy' inversion. Now here is a darker one altogether... the dark undresses her as though she were alone she is alone Tim A. On 18 Feb 2009, at 23:14, andrew burke wrote: > Well, perhaps I am a natural dissenter, but this poem doesn't do it for me > because of the cutesy abstraction of reversing the obvious image - > undressing the night. An original and imaginative concrete description of > her actions in the night would achieve a far greater emotional response in > this reader, for one. Martin is a gentle man and a gentleman - he has > filtered the gently erotic image through his sensibilities, shyly. Pull > aside the curtain, Martin, and write it with passion! > > Andrew > > > 2009/2/19 Millicent Accardi <[log in to unmask]> > >> I LOVE this poem Martin! >> >> >> Cheers, >> >> Millicent >> >> -----Original Message----- >> From: Sheila Murphy <[log in to unmask]> >> To: [log in to unmask] >> Sent: Wed, 18 Feb 2009 8:46 am >> Subject: Re: Snap - what she does >> >> >> >> >> lovely poem, Martin, and thank you! sheila >> >> On Wed, Feb 18, 2009 at 3:20 AM, Martin Dolan <[log in to unmask] >>> wrote: >> >>> she undresses the dark >>> smoothly, without hurry >>> as though she were alone >>> >>> she undresses the dark >>> there beside the window >>> and stands in the moonlight >>> >>> she undresses the dark >>> by touch, without looking >>> and night falls to the floor >>> >> > > > > --Andrew > http://hispirits.blogspot.com/