<<Why don't you insert a noun of your choosing at the end of each line and
then decide
whether enjambement isn't indeed Doug's focus?>>
the enjambement is always the, or *a*, focus.
actually, I thought that the poem itself made poetic as well as grammatical
sense just as it is, with nothing added or subtracted:
moon in clouds above snow about a whiter shade of pales.
I took, probably wrongly, the "by" to be a bit of a joke, i.e. 'written by'.
ah well.
also did I detect a hint of unwarranted sneering, Barry? hope not.
KS
2008/12/14 Barry Alpert <[log in to unmask]>
> Why don't you insert a noun of your choosing at the end of each line and
> then decide
> whether enjambement isn't indeed Doug's focus?
>
> Barry Alpert
>
> I can remember when the elimination of "articles" dominated my writing
> process, and
> that I cited "dichter=condensare" as a justification.
>
>
> On Sat, 13 Dec 2008 02:04:50 +0200, kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote:
>
> >great colourdab of a poem! I dislike the enjambement a lot though.
> >
> >KS
> >
> >2008/12/11 Douglas Barbour <[log in to unmask]>
> >
> >> moon in
> >> clouds above
> >> snow about
> >> a whiter shade of
> >> pales by
> >>
> >>
> >> Douglas Barbour
> >> [log in to unmask]
> >>
> >> http://www.ualberta.ca/~dbarbour/ <http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/><
> http://www.ualberta.ca/%7Edbarbour/>
> >>
> >> Latest books:
> >> Continuations (with Sheila E Murphy)
> >> http://www.uap.ualberta.ca/UAP.asp?LID=41&bookID=664
> >> Wednesdays'
> >>
> >> http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-
> press_10.html<http://abovegroundpress.blogspot.com/2008/03/new-from-aboveground-press_10.html>
> >>
> >> Why have you driven through my heart?
> >> Make that what.
> >>
> >> Artie Gold
> >>
>
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