Douglas Barbour wrote:
> Perhaps some of the first sections do overdo it, Ken.
>
> But the final stanza cuts deep, short sharp, powerful.
As I said, it's not something I want to change (it's done) but I don't
think I'd go in that direction now, even with cymbal-crashing political
stuff. Too many words piled on top of each other, too oratorical, where
the hell does a reader catch his breath? True, a bit much at the front end.
kw
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Ken Wolman http://bestiaire.typepad.com http://www.petsit.com/content317832.html
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"I have been watching you; you were there, unconcerned perhaps, but with a strange distraught air of someone forever expecting a great misfortune, in sunlight, in a beautiful garden."--Maurice Maeterlinck, Pelleas et Melisande
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