I've been experimenting with long lines. & I'll play with it a bit more --
thanks.
On 1/10/08, Martin Dolan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Sharon
>
> I wasn't convinced about the long lines, but they work well aloud. The
> enjambments are good, too - I'm just not sure about 'Do you/hear it?'
>
> Martin
>
> > Whisper
> >
> > Listen. It's a new moon night. There is no light to be heard
> > falling on fresh snow. Snow drifting down so quietly you hear
> > nothing. Listen. Distant electric humming under the evening
> > silence. A fountain trickles beneath the ice. Far away, geese
> > call to one another across the slow river. Listen harder. Do you
> > hear it? The crackling of stars, colliding starlight, high, higher,
> > in the dimming, snow-speckled night. That hiss. That whisper.
> >
> >
>
--
~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
|