I agree with both of you.
I think it would read more powerfully with commas than without.
Janet
On 24/01/2008, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I think you're right -- I struggled with this some as I wrote. It
> seemed odd to have so many lines end with a comma. But, now, as you
> say, it's inconsistent -- and I do think the other commas are needed.
>
> On 1/23/08, kasper salonen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > excellent. very little-mythic & descriptive.
> > though I think if you're going to use commas, either use them
> > consistently or not at all, in this case anyway. would you say this
> > could work comma-less?
> >
> > KS
> >
> > On 23/01/2008, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > > Wolf Moon
> > >
> > > Wolf Moon, is that you
> > > howling through the courtyard
> > > banging at our windows
> > > stripping shingles from the roof
> > > demanding to be let in? You,
> > >
> > > hungry, in your winter coat,
> > > fur tipped with frost and snow?
> > > I hear you prowling, your breath
> > > puffs coldness under the door.
> > > Wolf Moon, I cannot see you,
> > >
> > > but I know you're there.
> > >
>
>
> --
>
>
> ~ SB | http://www.sbpoet.com | =^..^=
>
--
Janet Jackson
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www.proximity.webhop.net
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