Exellent, Jon. Gets funnier and truer as it goes along.
Here's my entry in this sweepstakes:
ARS POETICA
* *
Sir, we have read
without compensation
and no more than usual
recourse to your rum
your entire oeuvre.
We have some questions:
Why no tempo?
It’s all one glissando,
as though rubbing sticks together
could generate passion.
We divided on the issue:
What aspect of your work
is the most heartless?
The poisoned floss,
the severed necks
of old women? Others
chose the headlong
celebration of rules
or the brokered hypocrisy
of your critique of sin.
**
****
Jon Corelis wrote:
> Submission Guidelines
>
>
> Demanding editor for poetry
> invites submission of your verse to me.
>
> My first command's to memorize the rules
> by which I'll entertain submitting fools:
>
> You'll send me your submissions on your knees;
> no more than seven in a packet, please,
>
> and you WILL put an SAE inside!
> (The stamps are mine, whatever I decide.)
>
> On one point I'm particularly firm:
> no simultaneous submissions, worm!
>
> You'll humbly wait on my decision four
> or five or six or seven months or more,
>
> until I send, as stinging as a whip,
> that cruelly polite rejection slip.
>
> If stern humiliation's your desire,
> I'll give you all that anyone could require.
>
--
Tad Richards
http://www.opus40.org/tadrichards/
http://opusforty.blogspot.com/
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