I agree especially with Patrick, that you are a brave man and what
characterizes you is your humility to come back to the same list and offer a
new version. This version is much better, and what The Old Mole has to say
is to be taken into consideration, I think.
Anny Ballardini
http://annyballardini.blogspot.com/
http://www.fieralingue.it/modules.php?name=poetshome
http://www.moriapoetry.com/ebooks.html
I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing
star!
Friedrich Nietzsche
On 3/27/07, Patrick Mc Manus <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Gavin you are a brave man to post here -I like this poem much better
> free-er
> -do you belong to a local group that is a good arena to get feedback
> Best wishes Patrick
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Poetryetc: poetry and poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Gavin Fagan
> Sent: 26 March 2007 05:27
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Loneliest Walk
>
> Loneliest Walk
>
> Silently I sit looking out to sea
> Watching the waves
> Foaming up
> Breaking all around
>
> Remembering those Summer nights
> Bare foot across the sand
> The tide lapping at our feet
> Arm in arm
> Quietly we'd sit
> As the sun
> Slowly sank in the distance
>
> Now the clouds are dark
> Tide no longer
> Lapping at our feet
> Waves angerly lashing
> At the rocks all around
>
> Unhurriedly I stand
> Recalling the dark night
> You left me
>
> Step be step I walk
> Bit by bit I feel the waves
> As they climb
> Until I have only
> A picture of you
> In my mind!
>
> Written by Gavin WM Fagan 2007
>
> Would like feed back on my poem, thanks.
> [log in to unmask]
>
>
> Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger.yahoo.com
>
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