I've put it away to read later. I feel as though I'm going to enjoy it,
but I need there to be some quiet first. Really looking forward to it.
Cal
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Kenneth Wolman
Sent: Tuesday, 9 January 2007 8:35 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: "Un bacio. Un altro bacio. Ancora un bacio"
Jon Corelis wrote:
> These are wild and whirling words.
>
> It's got some good parts, but I think it needs more structure to be
readable.
>
> Historical niggle: Eros in ancient Greek art is (always, if I
remember
> right) portrayed with a dinky dingus. I think you mean satyrs.
>
> Suggested preface quote: "I'd give it all up for one erection." --
Groucho
> Marx at 81.
>
Heh. It is too long. I read it over this morning after the flush faded
(I was in some kind of zone late yesterday, other than combat), and
whenever I asked myself "Why did I write that? how did it get there?" I
know I have a candidate for Dr. Ken's Guillotine. Yes, I have my own
selection of incoherent moments...no, that may be wrong. I'm not sure
it actually goes into incoherency, but--like those lovers--passages may
go out of the poem and somewhere else. Maybe next time I can get to
Puccini.
I'd rather overwrite by 3 pages. Cutting is almost pleasurable: "Hmmm,
there goes year 7, year 4, and that rubber tree plant."
I didn't know the Eros deal. Why would the god of Erotic love be (ahem)
underrepresented? Satyrs I can understand. Oooo, can I have fun with
this....
Alas, povero Groucho, missing by only a few years the Advent
(capitalization deliberate) of the three Magi: Levitra, Cialis, and
Viagra.
Thank you, Jon. Long time since the days of Apollo Poets. I've never
really solicited comments (impolite?) but this is one that cost me a
lot. I started it while I was still married. It's outlasted that, and
much else. HELP.
Ken
--
--------------------
Ken Wolman andreachenier.net rainermaria.typepad.com
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND: IT IS REALITY THAT IS MALFUNCTIONING
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