I like it as usual with your poems, Sharon, but maybe the end is
superfluous: from 'Soon it will be remembered ...' This is the reader's
feeling and when you spell it out, it deminishes it by making it concrete -
IMHO. (And the same reasoning goes behind me suggesting you flick 'tamed'
for the human habitat part. That's the point of it, in part, and statement -
too much explanation - kills the reader's experience.)
I love the word 'flickers', which I take to be birds. In fact, I really like
the way you've expressed the whole alive tree thing ...
Andrew
On 24/08/06, sharon brogan <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> You Say You Want to Know Me
>
> Look at the dead spruce, towering
> above all its leafed-out neighbors,
> a favorite perch for crows and ravens.
> Gray, naked, limbs all bent toward
> ground that no longer feeds it; branches
> drilled by flickers and woodpeckers;
> insect-rich; gymnasium for squirrel
> acrobatics; choir loft of sparrows;
> history written, hidden in its tall trunk;
> rough bark peeling away in chunks.
> It will stand another year or two, then
> fall to the arborist's saw to make way
> for a new house, a tamer habitat
> for humans, masonry and planned
> plantings. Soon it will be remembered
> by no one at all; not the crows or ravens;
> not the woodpeckers or flickers; not
> the sparrows or squirrels, and one day
> not even by me.
>
>
> --
> ~ SB =^..^=
>
> http://www.sbpoet.com
>
--
Andrew
http://hispirits.blogspot.com/
http://www.bam.com.au/andrew
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