nearly deleted this as Junk. Glad I didn't.
From: Andrea Hollomotz <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To: [log in to unmask]
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Let's TALK about SEX ! ! !
Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2006 21:36:04 +0100
Hello everyone,
I have been sat back shyly observing the debates held on the Discussion list
for quite some time now, but Colin Revell and Jenny Parry discussing my
favourite subject - SEX - this week has finally got me out of reserve. Sex
is important and sex must be talked about, everywhere and to anyone, the
more, the better. Sexuality is a fundamental human right and to say that one
shall not talk about disabled people doing IT is to deny their personhood.
This has all been said before, but somehow the message did still not get
trough to some (most(?)) people out there.
In my current job as a social worker for people with learning difficulties,
the most disempowered group of disabled people who are still spoken ABOUT
rather than TO when plans about their lives are made (at least in the
council I work for), I constantly come across issues related to sexuality,
but only when sexuality is seen as a "problem", an issue that can be dragged
to the next best "strategy meeting", of which we hold plenty. For all those
of you who are not familiar with this ridiculous jargon (lucky you!), a
"strategy meeting" is when ten or so professionals sit around a table and
talk ABOUT very private issues concerning a third person who is normally not
present. The outcome is an "adult protection strategy". This way I was part
of meetings held regarding a couple with learning difficulties who were
"touching each other inappropriately" in the semi-public space of their
living room. The assumption was made that he must be abusing her, because
women are vulnerable. This was ridiculous as the people concerned were
clearly two consenting adults and the ultimate "solution" to their "deviant
behaviour" of making the other residents of their home witness their
caresses would have been to send them to their room, give them a condom and
tell them to get on with IT.
... but this would not have worked, because nobody has ever told them what
to GET ON WITH! Picking up Colin Revell's point: Sex is everywhere,
especially within popular culture. So yes, they would get on with SOMETHING,
but whether this would be the most fulfilling sex for both of them is
questionable, if all they can base their expectations on is watching people
on “Friends” having “sex” in their underwear or watching a rape scene in a
film and thinking that this is the norm, that the man is in charge and that
the women has no choice and really enjoys pain.
To prevent that kind of sex we must talk about IT. To stop unnecessary
"strategy meetings" and the invasion of two adult’s privacy, we must
normalise and talk about IT. To make people aware of disabled people having
sex, being sexual, being sexy, why not have a porn star in a wheelchair!?! I
have nothing but respect for Encarna Conde as she is giving her all, namely
her body for this campaign. I can honestly say that I would not have the
guts to do this! Go on Encarna!
All the best,
Andrea Hollomotz
PS: Encarna Conde is the “porn star in a wheelchair” Colin was referring to
in his mail dated 27/06/06. I am sending the link yet again below.
http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1805526,00.html
-----------------------------------------
Email sent from www.ntlworld.com
Virus-checked using McAfee(R) Software
Visit www.ntlworld.com/security for more information
________________End of message______________________
This Disability-Research Discussion list is managed by the Centre for
Disability Studies at the University of Leeds
(www.leeds.ac.uk/disability-studies). Enquiries about the list
administratione should be sent to [log in to unmask]
Archives and tools are located at:
www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/disability-research.html
You can JOIN or LEAVE the list from this web page.
_________________________________________________________________
Be the first to hear what's new at MSN - sign up to our free newsletters!
http://www.msn.co.uk/newsletters
________________End of message______________________
This Disability-Research Discussion list is managed by the Centre for Disability Studies at the University of Leeds (www.leeds.ac.uk/disability-studies). Enquiries about the list administratione should be sent to [log in to unmask]
Archives and tools are located at:
www.jiscmail.ac.uk/lists/disability-research.html
You can JOIN or LEAVE the list from this web page.
|