Gosh, Hal, I feel like my response to your great Sonnet is being entirely
ignored.
The sadness of the contributor denied.
Now I forget what I contributed - seemed a heated celebration at the time!
Stephen V
http://stephenvincent.net/blog/
> No quarrel here with your reading, Dave. For me, however, any parody
> of Tennyson was unintentional--an echo much more than a memory, if
> that. Bats--way down deep in the cave.
>
> Hal
>
> On Jan 17, 2006, at 7:41 PM, David Bircumshaw wrote:
>
>> Thirdly thoughts, Hal: I suspect that what happens, to the 'ear',
>> is that on
>> reading the Tennyson parody one's memory immediately triggers
>> metre, so that
>> recognition looks for it.
>>
>> Get what I'm awkwardly fumbling to say?
>>
>> Best
>>
>> Dave
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Halvard Johnson" <[log in to unmask]>
>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2006 2:15 PM
>> Subject: Re: "Sonnet: Body Under a Running Stream"
>>
>>
>> Thanks for the thoughts, Dave, both first and second. I'm listening
>> more closely
>> now to the closing rhythms and may revise those. To tell you the
>> truth, I don't
>> think the meter is running in this cab, so I'll have to play it by
>> ear.
>>
>> Hal
>>
>> On Jan 17, 2006, at 4:42 AM, David Bircumshaw wrote:
>>
>>> On second thoughts, Hal, methinks the parodic Tennysonianism of the
>>> conclusion does work: my initial reaction was that it went too
>>> close in that
>>> there was a slip into sounding as if you meant it|: parody is very
>>> much a
>>> double-edged weapon.
>>> Do suspect there's a slight wobble in the metre though.
>>>
>>> All the Best
>>>
>>> Dave
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "David Bircumshaw" <[log in to unmask]>
>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2006 12:26 AM
>>> Subject: Re: "Sonnet: Body Under a Running Stream"
>>>
>>>
>>> Quite impressive. I think it goes a bit Tennysonian ( as in
>>> Ulysees) in the
>>> concluding couplet, the metre's a bit wobbly there too, but still,
>>> not bad
>>> ....
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Halvard Johnson" <[log in to unmask]>
>>> To: <[log in to unmask]>
>>> Sent: Monday, January 16, 2006 3:47 PM
>>> Subject: "Sonnet: Body Under a Running Stream"
>>>
>>>
>>> Sonnet: Body Under a Running Stream
>>>
>>> Amusing at first, but then not. North by the Tigris
>>> until we reached the Spirit of God, hovering over the dark
>>> waters, finding more in common with them than we¹d thought.
>>> Diverting their water to other, less amiable purposes,
>>>
>>> bounded on the north by the Book of Genesis, on the south
>>> by the Gulf of Aden, four angels caught in our crossfire.
>>> Those who arise each morning and put on two faces,
>>> facilitating a more effective dialogue, not surprised
>>>
>>> by reports of new atrocities gathered in the face of fresh,
>>> new press restrictions, persistent rumors of imminent
>>> withdrawals, counterpointed by PSYOP projects
>>> that invariably failed to accomplish their purposes‹
>>>
>>> to persuade, to change, to influence,
>>> to interdict, to dissemble, to re-elect.
>>>
>>>
>>> Hal
>>>
>>> Halvard Johnson
>>> ================
>>> [log in to unmask]
>>> [log in to unmask]
>>> http://home.earthlink.net/~halvard
>>> http://entropyandme.blogspot.com
>>> http://imageswithoutwords.blogspot.com
>>> http://www.hamiltonstone.org/hsr.html
>>
>> Serving the tristate area.
>>
>> Halvard Johnson
>> ================
>> [log in to unmask]
>> [log in to unmask]
>> http://home.earthlink.net/~halvard
>> http://entropyandme.blogspot.com
>> http://imageswithoutwords.blogspot.com
>> http://www.hamiltonstone.org/hsr.html
>
> "A paranoid is someone who knows a little
> of what's going on."
> --William S. Burroughs
>
> Halvard Johnson
> ================
> [log in to unmask]
> [log in to unmask]
> http://home.earthlink.net/~halvard
> http://entropyandme.blogspot.com
> http://imageswithoutwords.blogspot.com
> http://www.hamiltonstone.org/hsr.html
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