Haphazardly - Jill - tho with some intention I was rereading early Gary
Snyder poems, particularly the series called RipRap (sensing out the
similarities and differences with the scultural text work of Richard Long)
and I - after 5 days of mostly speechless silence, I opened on your snap
and, wow, how close this is to the early Snyder. Not to discount your poem
at all, but the wilderness resonances are so close. I would not know if you
have read Snyder - who particularly in the sixties and early seventies - was
very popular in USA & England. In London, Fulcrum Press, did a Collected
Poems: A Range of Poetry) in 1967 when Snyder was only 37 years old!
Sorry I digress, but just a Snyder taste, in relation to yours:
> One night, falls, the cold glare lit
> that not a cloud, polished sheets
> moon forms hills, previewed spirit
> breaks much blew, darkness, horizon.
Mid-August At Sourdough Mountain Lookout
Down valley a smoke haze
Three days after five days rain
Pitch glows on the fir cones
Across rocks and meadows
Swarms of new flies.
I cannot remember things I once read
A few friends but they are in cities.
Drinking cold snow water from a tin cup
Looking down for miles
Through high still air.
*
Your poem, as I read it, clearly allows more 'disturbance' into the content,
or cannot fully escape it, where Snyder's poem is intent on a clarity that
transcends being immobilized by 'disturbance'.
Anyway I like what you are working through (the materials), allowing that
challenge.
Stephen V
>
> Green network, branches, dowsing sleep
> cavities, stained glare, cracked with silence
> burnt the light, unperceived, entrap
> disorder below full moon, exhausted.
>
> Wrapped in covers, moulded through
> moon in-drawn, blown the light
> edging pavement, hummocks, diffuse
> goes inward, during, exhausted, regain.
>
> Unsparing or timid, eye of sleep
> deplete the night, escape, rolled on.
>
> *
>
> One, night black, gloss on branches
> before resignation, sun or cloud tide
> broken under, examined with colour
> lean, spreading, foot light.
>
> Unperceived damage though
> buoys decay, disturbance of frost
> the cold rope, a blank dawn, lit
> this became green underfoot.
>
> To sleep if you burn the light
> vacate wood, cracked by peace
> era illuminated, colder haze
> before the sun, water, surface.
>
> Breaches dark hills, gate
> waked up, the rise, sun-wasted.
>
> *
>
> One night's colour, lucent, tide
> ignite, through windows, before sun
> extreme deflections, polished, light
> the ruptures of very skies.
>
> Assemble in density, that small root
> door and night, distant sweepings
> green with tide, moved far from forests
> here, more loss, if I cover with dark.
>
> Within, the bush looks like surface
> stain, scribbly bark, broken underfoot
> continent track along cold peace
> an automobile waked up, rolled, ascent.
>
> Colours phase, moon losing form
> shout outside window, laughter.
>
>
> Jill Jones
> Marrickville 8.29am, 25 January 2006
>
>
> _______________________________________________________
> Jill Jones
>
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>
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>
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