Hi Ryfkah,
I, too, am not so sure about the title... I think I'd like something that
works as well as the poem works - but doesn't feel lazy! The title feels as
if it's justthere to remind the writer what's in the poem.
"elongate it to pierce my dinner dog" is a wacky iambic-pentameter!
Bob
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New: Sunset Peach
>Date: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 19:29:32 EDT
>
>Sunset Peach
>
>Our kayak dragged onto sand
>she snaps a photo of the beach
>stands with spiked hair slowly swaying
>in the offshore gust
>I flash my mother smile
>
>Palm trees hover as sentries
>
>My daughter lights the bonfire
>mixes black beans and brown rice
>in a blackened camp pot
>I discover a wire hanger in the car
>elongate it to pierce my dinner dog
>
>The sun dips like a peach half
>
>Ryfkah 7/15/05
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