Well, I just have returned from having a second opinion concerning my
cancer.  The doctor reaffirmed the initial diagnosis.  I do have prostrate
cancer.  It is in its early stages.  It is "treatable."   Most important my
Susan is assured and relieved as assured and relieved as she can be in this
kind of situation.  I have opted to have surgery in a little more two weeks
from now, on the 26th, and will take three to four weeks recuperative leave
from the physical classroom while entering the virtual classroom by keeping
in contact with the students via computer.

        I've also returned to two weeks worth of e-mails, nearly five hundred
messages waiting for me.        Almost half of them have made me speechless and
paralyzed my fingers.  This is one of those rare times I really don't know
what to say.  I am so touched, so sincerely touched.  I have such deep
gratitude for the outpouring of sharing, reassurance, support, and
encouragement from a host of people, many are close friends, many of whom
are e-friends I've never met face to face or heard the sound of their
voices, many of whom I've heard from for the first time telling me I am in
their prayers.  I have received e-cards from people whom I do not know.
It's such an uplift.

        Actually, I do know what to say.  A quiet and deeply sincere "thank you for
your true gift" is all that needs to be said, for it says it all.

        I am deeply thankful because these messages once again have forcefully
reminded me that I could treat this cancer like a grudge.  I once lived my
life with a tightly held grudge.  But, I learned a little over a decade ago
that I wouldn't be healthier or happier if I held on to it or any other
grudges, large or small, tightly or loosely.  I have come to learn what
Confucius meant when he said, "To be wronged is nothing unless we continue
to remember it."  Any decision to hold on to a grievance over this cancer
would be my decision to suffer.  More than that, it would extend the
suffering into all facets of my life. And in a peculiar way it would give
the cancer a way to hurt me and others again and again.  Think about it.
Focusing on this cancer won't somehow punish the cancer any more than
holding on to a grudge would harm the wrongdoer.  No, I would only hurt
myself and others far more.  I'd give it permission to become a
candle-snuffing or cloud covering entity.  I would allow it to dwell in my
the dark recesses of my consciousness and not allow me to enjoy the light of
day; I wouldn't be able free myself of it and be able to live freely today.

        Yes, the words of these sincere well-wishers, then, are true gifts.  What's
a true gift?  It's the timeless one.  It's the one that never ends.  It's
the one that lasts long after the words have been erased, the cards have
been discarded, decorations have been taken down and stored, the tree has
been placed at the curb, the menorah have been returned to the shelf, the
songs have been sung, seasonal rituals and traditions have given way to the
return of the routine "normality of life," and, in this case, the cancer has
been extracted.  The true gift is the one that is ever-lasting and
treasured.  It's like that something meaningful and purposeful in the
classroom that does not end after the lectures have been given, the notes
written, the tests taken, the grades given, and the term ends.  It's
something that goes far beyond and dives much deeper and lasts a lot longer
than the immediacy of the grade and the confines of the subject information.

        So, because of all you well-wishers out there, one of my resolutions, as my
surgery date approaches, is to more resolutely feel about, look at, think
about, and talk about this cancer with a simple:  "screw you!!"

        Thank you once again.

        The lesson for us in life and life in the classroom is simple.  Don't
underestimate the impact we have when we take the time to share ourselves
with others, to support and encourage someone, to make someone feel worthy,
significant, sacred, valued, valuable, noticed, and above all loved.  So, if
you want to make a difference in the lives of others, be they friends or
family or strangers or colleagues or superiors or students, remember that no
warm greeting of acknowledgement, no act of loving kindness, no gentle smile
of encouragement, no soft words of appreciation are ever wasteful or wasted.

Make it a good
     --Louis--


Louis Schmier                            www.therandomthoughts.com
Department of History                    www.halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, Georgia 31698                    /\  /\  /\          /\
(229-333-5947)                            /^\\/  \/  \  /\/\__/\ \/\
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                                        //\/\/ /\  \__/_/_/\_\___\_/__\
                                     /\"If you want to climb mountains,\ /\
                                  _ /  \    don't practice on mole
hills" -\__