I liked this poem wish I had been there so tired of polished performances
---actually my trumpet was not out of tune
Dribbling, Drizzling, Drivelling, which poets are they is one a hamster??
Cheers Patrick
Our drop had lovely decs though (when I was last there)
-----Original Message-----
From: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
poetics [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of David Bircumshaw
Sent: 27 December 2005 22:05
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Doodle
Danke, Jools, though I doubt if any poem could easily convey the true horror
of the alleged carol concert that accompanied the meal for the down and
outs: that the trumpet was out of tune in itself was miraculous (it is very
hard to achieve that - apparently it takes ages of dedicated non-cleaning to
do that) - the guitar too was off-key, but it's easier to do that with a
stringed instrument, but the piece de resistance was one point when one of
the two singer-instrumentalists was singing from a different songsheet to
both his accomplice and everybody else (those who weren't sniggering loudly
that is)
(btw this was NOT the concert that you and R2 almost attended the weekend
before - now +that+ was beautiful)
Best
Dave
----- Original Message -----
From: "Judy Prince" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 4:25 PM
Subject: Re: Doodle
> nice fixes, scribbler. approaching a rap, m' man.
>
> judy
>
> > From: David Bircumshaw <[log in to unmask]>
> > Date: 2005/12/27 Tue AM 10:06:11 EST
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Doodle
> >
> > Why thank you, Frederick, Judy. I assure it was just a doodle - a five
> > minute scribble.
> >
> > I've slightly revised it, if of interest. The 'EX' should be in italics.
> >
> > (I'd never actually seen what a drop-in for the homeless etc is like at
> > Christmas before this one, just as I'd never seen what the inside of a
> > psychiatric ward is like either. Been, um, interesting.)
> >
> > This is the revision:
> >
> >
> > The Triangle Drop-in Centre
> >
> > Dossers snigger at an untuned trumpet
> > And the songs they should sing
> > For this (lottery funded) EX-mas supper.
> > Wincing the herald angels
> >
> > Press hands over ears. Like a brickyard
> > Abandoned in a holiday,
> > Boxes stack and tumble at the foot
> > Of the invisible. Tree not there,
> >
> > Tree not reaching heavenheadward,
> > As the wet snow waits,
> >
> > Dribbling, drizzling, drivelling,
> >
> > Outside, writing as it slaps your face
> > Its true name: cold reign.
> >
> >
> > December 24th 2005
> >
> >
> > Best
> >
> > Dave
> >
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Frederick Pollack" <[log in to unmask]>
> > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > Sent: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 2:06 PM
> > Subject: Re: Doodle
> >
> >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: "David Bircumshaw" <[log in to unmask]>
> > > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > > Sent: Tuesday, December 27, 2005 6:54 AM
> > > Subject: Doodle
> > >
> > >
> > > The Triangle Drop-in Centre
> > >
> > > The dossers snigger at the untuned trumpet
> > > And the songs they should sing
> > > For this (lottery funded) Christmas supper.
> > > Even the herald angels
> > >
> > > Press hands over ears. Like a brickyard
> > > Abandoned in a rush,
> > > Boxes stack and tumble at the foot
> > > Of the invisible. Tree not there,
> > >
> > > Tree not reaching heavenheadward,
> > > As the wet snow waits
> > > Outside, writing as it slaps your face
> > > Its true name: cold rain.
> > >
> > > Considerably more than a "doodle"! "Boxes stack and tumble at the
foot /
> > Of
> > > the invisible" - excellent!
> >
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