For little over two months I've been e-chatting with Majorie (not
her real name)who is attending another institution. I've resisted sharing
her initial "smoking" message that started our conversation although she
has urged me more than once or twice to send it out. Every time I read it
I'm reminded that there may be more than a grain of truth to Parker
Palmer's assertion that there aren't many places where people feel less
respected, less sacred and less in community than they do in higher
education. Maybe, as the fall semester approaches, now is the time to
hurl her words into cyberspace. It should give each of us, whatever be
our position, cause to pause and listen to this voice on the other side of
the desk and podium. With Majorie's expressed permission:
"Hey, Dr. Schmier. You don't know me, but I know you and I'd like
us to get to know each other. I started reading you for a ed-psych class
assignment about a year ago and haven't stopped yet. Mind if I vent on
you and let off steam? I've got to let it out. Talking with my friends
isn't enough. It's like complaining to a mirror. All I get is a bunch
"yeah, I agree, but you can't do anything." And, my adviser thinks I'm
too sensitive and unreasonable, is too afraid of his job to say or do
anything. The same goes for a young prof I spoke to who won't do a thing
to threaten her race for tenure. No one here really wants to listen.
Their advise is to do what they do: shut up, grin, and bear it. I feel
like I'm being sacrificed at the altar so they don't have to buck the
system and protect their precious academic asses. That means keep their
jobs."
"And, you can share this with anyone you want. Just leave off my
name and university. The s.o.b.s (my abbreviations) around here would
probably take revenge on me--after denying or rationalizing
everything--and I don't believe anyone would stand up for me. Maybe it
will get someone to think and knock some sense into someone higher up."
"I've had it. I don't mind being told I'm smart and going places,
but I've had it with being treated as a smart nobody with no place to go.
You know, here I am at ......... University. It's written up in all those
'you should go to' school articles. I've been here three years. I'm what
they call "a good student." I'm "little Miss Honors Student." My GPA is
3.77. But, that's all I am around here, a walking GPA, someone to brag
about to get a ranking in some magazine, but they don't know who this
someone is--or care to know. Boy, is that especially true in those huge,
cattle-call classes. It's even in my small classes that's true. Hell,
you don't have to go on-line to have distance learning around here. Just
walk into a regular classroom. All my professors talk about me like they
know who I am. Hell, they don't even know who "me" is. Some don't even
know my name. To most, I'm just a name in a roll book or a statistic to
brag about. I don't think they really care. I mean really care. They say
they do, but they don't mean it or it has a bunch of conditions strung to
it. They don't show it except by going through some motions. They don't
work at it. They don't listen. They control by talking. Can you imagine
how they think about and treat the students who aren't honors? I've seen
them treat those students as almost vermin and they are exterminators. I
think sometimes they're afraid to get to know me because then I'll get to
know them and get a peek behind their mask. They'll slave over their
precious research, but they won't sweat one drop to make the effort to
really know what I need as a person. They say they don't have the time
but they'll find time for the lab or the archive without breaking a sweat
or one complaint. I've got to fit into their precious, pinned-to-the-door
schedule and they make no effort to fit into mine. They sure aren't the
kind of doctor you'd call in time of need. They think they're God's gift
to mankind and we ought to be so damn appreciative that they allow us to
sit in their presence while they go on and on and on and throw crumbs at
us."
"I mean how can so many supposedly deep thinkers be so shallow and
thoughtless? They look for all sorts of clues in their experiments, and
outside the lab are clueless. I think educating me should be a very
personal thing. But, no, they have this image of me that has nothing to
do with the real me. They don't care if I have to work my ass off at a
job to help pay for their huge salaries, which I do. They don't care if I
have to worry about paying bills, which I do. They could care less and
don't want to hear if I'm distracted at times because my mother is very
sick and my little brother is having a hard time handling it. If someone
happens to fit their image of being what they want and doing what they
want, they have their arms around his shoulders and are patting them on
his back. Otherwise, they couldn't give a damn and give a bunch of
reasons why they're right. They push those student who they don't think
are students away and kick them in the ass. Or worse, they just plain
ignore them. Ever been treated like a piece of cellophane? They read
their precious books and don't read one line about me. They just don't
want to work at knowing me because they're too lazy or they think it's not
important."
"Well, I wish I had the guts to stand up and shout that it's damn
important. I'm important. I know no one else will. They think this
school is theirs. Well, someone ought to clue them in that without me
there's no university. Without me, they'd be on the unemployment line.
Without me this place would be a ghost town. Don't tell me that I'm not
important enough to get to know, to at least listen to!! All they want to
think about is how frustrating we students are to them, how our needs
inconvenient them, and how much time we take them away from their precious
books that are usually unreadable if anyone cares to open them. How about
them to us? God, If they were on the radio, I wouldn't have one reason to
tune them in. If they were salesmen, I wouldn't buy a thing from them.
Most of them couldn't sell a heater in the dead of winter."
"You know I've heard profs bitch that they have to do things that
have nothing to do with the classroom. They don't have time. Blah, blah,
blah, blah. Well, la-de-dah. It's part of their job. They talk to us
about excellence when it comes to academics and then are mediocre to poor
when it comes to relationships. They don't create a positive connection
with us or give us a positive connection to their classes. You know, a
lot of them don't have a hook to be in the classroom. They call me an
adult when it suits them and at the same time treat me as a child when it
suits them. They always want to have it both ways. I have lots of
friends at other places and I've met a lot of other students at
conventions. Let me tell you something. It's not much different from
here. Respect is not really a going word in these places. And if anyone
thinks I'm the only student thinking this way, they've got another think
coming. Of course, I don't think they want to think about that. They may
have to admit they have to change and come down from Olympus and walk
among us common students. God forbid they would have to admit that they
just might have to change a tad."
"I want to go on and get my Ph.D. to teach at the college level.
But if teaching at the college level means I have to become like most of
them, I'm not sure. Grrrrrr!!!! #$%*&%@!!!!! I know I'm rambling, but I
am spitting mad. It's been building up subtly, but after yesterday it all
came to a head and I got to explode like Mount St. Helens. Let me tell
you what happened......"
That's all I'm comfortable sharing. I know that our knee-jerk
reaction is to say, "not on my campus." Nevertheless, what I shared
should be enough to give each of us cause to pause and be mindful. I know
it was for me.
Make it a good day.
--Louis--
Louis Schmier www.therandomthoughts.com
Department of History www.halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, GA 31698 /~\ /\ /\
229-333-5947 /^\ / \ / /~\ \ /~\__/\
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-_~ / "If you want to climb mountains, \ /^\
_ _ / don't practice on mole hills" - \____
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