Found Poem - Laura Kipnis ("Marriage is made in hell ", Observer, 07/09/03)



Let us contemplate the everyday

                living
                        conditions

of this rather large

                percentage
        of the population,

this self-reportedly
                     unhappily
                                married
                                        majority:

        all those households
                        submersed

in low-level misery
                        and

        soul-deadening tedium,
                                early graves

in all respects
                but
                    the most forensic.

Regard those couples

                - we all know them,
                perhaps we are them -

                        the bickering;

                the reek of unsatisfied desires

                        and
                                unmet
                                     needs;

        a populace downing
                anti-depressants,

along with
           whatever

other forms

            of
                creative

self-medication
        are most easily at hand,

from
    triple
           martinis

                    to

                        serial
                               adultery.


- AB

>From: Dominic Fox <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry and
> poetics <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Snapshot 9/24/03 choice/consent
>Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 21:06:07 +0100
>
>This sounds decidedly like Laura Kipnis, of whom we have been hearing so
>much lately.
>
>Dominic
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Anton Brassiere" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 5:59 PM
>Subject: Re: Snapshot 9/24/03 choice/consent
>
>
> > I found this quote, which I thought was quite apt, though they neglected
>to
> > state the author:
> >
> > "Marriage is less the unimpeded coming together of true minds than the
>final
> > acceptance of the individual's complete surrender to co-dependency and
>thus
> > the inevitable abjection and alienation from the self. Marriage does not
> > just 'reflect' the structures within society, it is the very seed of
> > society's ability to disseminate and reproduce itself. Marriage is a
>worm,
>a
> > virus."
> >
> > - Anton Brassiere
> >
> >
> >
> > >From: Ken Wolman <[log in to unmask]>
> > >Reply-To: Poetryetc provides a venue for a dialogue relating to poetry
>and
> > > poetics <[log in to unmask]>
> > >To: [log in to unmask]
> > >Subject: Re: Snapshot 9/24/03 choice/consent
> > >Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 12:44:09 -0400
> > >
> > >Deborah Russell wrote:
> > >
> > > > No one can honestly say they "knew what they were getting into",
>unless
> > >they
> > > > kept
> > > > their fingers crossed. Even in long term relationships, once
>married,
> > >you
> > > > discover
> > > > how impractical and undependable your perspectives were and are.
> > >
> > >Another (unnecessary?) bit of autobio. I was a lapsed Jew who became a
> > >terrible
> > >Catholic who has recently reaffirmed by commitment to the Jewish faith
>into
> > >which I was born. Some people find religion utterly irrelevant: I find
>it
> > >central to figuring out who I am, a task that may take me to somewhere
> > >beyond
> > >the grave. In any case, during my six-year run with the Catholic
>Church
>I
> > >had a
> > >Jesuit spiritual director who suggested I should really obtain a Church
> > >annulment of my marriage, if for no other reason than to give me some
>sort
> > >of
> > >closure. "What am I going to claim for grounds after 28 years and two
> > >children,
> > >non-consummation?" I asked.
> > >
> > >He asked me "How old were you when you got married?"
> > >
> > >"I'd just turned 25. She was still 24."
> > >
> > >"How did you feel about her?"
> > >
> > >"We were mad about each other."
> > >
> > >"Did you understand the meaning of the commitment? Did you understand
>how
> > >love
> > >changes over time and that you would have to readjust constantly to
> > >maintain
> > >both love and commitment?"
> > >
> > >"I understood nothing. Neither of us did. No counseling, no Jewish
> > >version of
> > >pre-Cana, nothing."
> > >
> > >"There you are," the priest said. "Ignorance of the meaning of
>marriage.
> > >Your
> > >grounds."
> > >
> > >Fr. Hallinan was a pretty sharp guy but I didn't do it anyway.
> > >
> > > > I gave up the term "a good marriage" except for practical
>application.
> > >
> > >Even marriages made in Heaven work themselves out on earth and, without
> > >tending,
> > >they can go from there straight to Hell.
> > >
> > >Ken
> > >--
> > >Kenneth Wolman
> > >Proposal Development Department
> > >Room SW334
> > >Sarnoff Corporation
> > >609-734-2538
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
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