I know.  I've shared a lot lately.  More than usual.  I thought I
was "worded out" last week.  So, apologize for this one.  I'll go silent
for a while.  What stirred me was a brief conversation I had at a
superbowl party yesterday.  A middle-aged, colleague, who wasn't all that
much into football, same up to me and with a tone of surprise saying,
"Louis, I heard you aren't retired yet."

        "No."  I really didn't want to talk "business" since I was
enjoying the impending upset.

        "How come?" she went on.  "You've put in enough years to."

        "Why should I.  I'm having too much fun."

        "Fun?  Not me," she answered with a hint of envy.  "I can't wait
for it. I'm counting the years to go.  I'm tired. I'm out as soon as I can
be. You can take home right now as much if not more as if stayed on over
there."

        "It's only money.  Too much is put on this retirement stuff.  It
not a purpose or a reason to get up. Besides, you must have a bunch of
years to go."

        "Too many," was her forlorn reply.  And with a subtle sigh, she
went to another table and went back to the game.

        I didn't pay much attention to that brief and chilling exchange
until it reappeared as I struggled to get back in walking form this
chilly, pre-dawn morning.  It repeated almost word for word another
conversation I had last Friday and a few days before that.  Do you know
how many times I've had that conversation lately? Think someone is giving
me a hint that they want to put me out to pasture?  You know the grass
over there ain't necessarily green.  From her words and tone, my colleague
and others like her seem to be asking for justification for being kind of
negative and resigned, and asking approval for chasing what seems what
they don't have instead of using their own energies to relish what they
do.  So many of us teachers feel chained in.  So many of us see a place
filled with limitations, obstacles, problems, staleness, and complain
about them as we focus on them.  So many of us get up and don't really
want to go in.  I choose to get up with an invigorating "yes!"  I choose
to feel free. I choose to see a place filled with freshness,
possibilities, opportunities, a richness if you will, and am grateful for
it.  Can that be why so many people are surprised at my answer?

        Yeah, I know. I'm sixty-one, although I feel like I'm a sprite
eighteen. And yeah, I've been at Valdosta State for about 35 years. And
still yeah, goodness knows how much more equivalency time I have in
accrued sick leave since I've not taken a day I can remember.  And a final
yeah, the pay isn't so great.  Nevertheless, why would I retire?  To what?
You know I have discovered since the journey started by my epiphany in
1991 that, as Popeye, The Sailor Man says, "youse gets whats youse puts
in."  What you see in yourself and teaching is what you get. Your view of
yourself and teaching is what you will live. They will unfold as you
expect.  It's that self-fulfilling prophecy stuff.  Why should I fill my
days with resentment, despair, anger, resignation, fear, cynicism?  I don't
like being down or choose to feel miserable.  I don't want dark, cloudy
days. I much prefer to see the sun shining even if it unseen above the
clouds.  I much prefer to fill my world with love, smiles, gratitude,
appreciation, benevolence towards others, and treasure what I do in the
splendor of each moment.  I like and choose to feel happy and fulfilled.
Hey, the recent unexpected death of two colleagues, one from a suicide, is
a heavy reminder that today is my only day, that I'm fortunate to be
living it in the way I do with what I have.  I haven't time to focus on
the negative, to look back with regret or wait around thumbing for a ride
to happiness and fulfillment that might come my way.  It's all around me
right now, this day, with neat people.  I enjoy being me, where I am, with
whom I am, doing what I do.

        Sure there are difficulties and disappointments, problems and
concerns, obstacles.  Hey, it would be the same wherever and whenever I
would be and whatever I would be doing, retired or not.  Fortunately, I
feel fortunate. I'm still giving myself and others special gifts. I still
look forward to interacting with those neat people.  I still have great
expectations. Each day is still fresh.  Each day is a bunch of precious,
irreplaceable experiences I still believe the best things are yet to
happen. I am still convinced that the star has not yet to shine brightest
in the good night.  I know the flame has yet to burn its highest. I know
the record harvest hasn't yet been reaped.  I still am willing to try new
thing. I still relish trying new things.  The challenge is still there;
the adventure is still there; the discovery is still there;  the meaning
is still there;  the excitement is still there;  the feeling of being
alive is still there.  I still have a sense of what service is.  I still
have a sense to act with urgency, be patient to continue making the
effort, and be patient for results.  I still am determined to make each
day count.  I still believe each student is beautiful and wonderful and
capable of doing great things, knowing each is a treasure yet to be
discovered.  I still admire each of them.  I still appreciate the
experience.  The desire to make a difference in the lives of others is
still there.  I still have that bounce in each step.  I still dance onto
campus and into the classroom believing I will make that difference in as
big a way I can today. Doggone I know the joy and excitement.  Do these
people know that I live in an incredible world, a world beyond conceivable
richness?  I live in that richness I look around and see all those people
with whom I have the chance to experience all the opportunities of life.
You know, I have found that if I live teaching, love teaching, make it
even more magnificent and richer by being positive and present, the
richness that is teaching will grow richer.  Each moment with those people
is a blessing a minute of which is too precious to waste with moping
around.

        Yeah, I know.  People think that I'm idealistic, unrealistic, got
my head in the clouds, am "touchy feely," and all that.  Well, I'm too
busy to think what other people think, say, and do.  I'm too busy lifing
myself up to a high. I'm too busy living happiness and fulfillment.  I'm
too busy releasing that beautiful, worthy person inside me and being the
catalyst for others to do the same to look back with regret. I'm too busy
focusing on being the most authentic, loving, caring, faithful, believing,
hopeful person I can be. Like the Duc de Saint-Simon said to himself each
day, I've got too many great things to do today.

        Why in heavens name would I choose to walk away from all that?
That's not rational.  It's insane!


Make it a good day.

                                                       --Louis--


Louis Schmier                     www.therandomthoughts.com
Department of History             www.halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, GA  31698                           /~\        /\ /\
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