Thank you, Candice.
I think "Sweetheart" might be too southern. If I were down in New Orleans,
I'd consider "Please Don't Call Me Ishmael, Baby"! The poem is homage not
only to HM but to Hart Crane and his sonnet at Melville's Tomb. (Hence, the
sound chamber effects.)
Your point is well taken. Are you asking what is "it" modifying? Yes, the
string untied 5,000 years ago, and it just let the boat slip off into the
tides. It's been years since. I thank you very much for your comment, and
I will attempt to tweak the poem a bit right there. Thanks.
--Ak
At 03:07 PM 7/19/01, you wrote:
>Some wonderful images here, Anastasios (the "stone/Box temple," "midnight's
>stomach," "the bark tying jade dusk," etc.), but I'm even more taken with
>the sound effects you achieve and the way every word is pulling its
>weight--if only Melvi (oh never mind! economy wasn't his forte).
>
>The one place where I stumble is that semi-colon after string--I just don't
>understand the syntax there(?).
>
>Thanks for posting this--Candice
>
>P.S. If you wanted to go whole-hog-American with your title, you could call
>it "Please Don't Call Me Ishmael, Sweetheart"--?
>
>
> > Please Don't Call Me Ishmael
> >
> > Call me your cabin boy. Cavernous,
> > Unanchored aimless mausoleum--stone
> > Box temple, blood-and-pulse edifice
> > Where center crossword clues stand alone.
> >
> > Across by starboard, midnight's stomach veils
> > Celestial ways. Instruments calibrate
> > What may, a segue... Craps, the betting fails
> > The beast. Without a vig, the ship's weight
> >
> > Sinks a cemetery. Follow the fish
> > And stuff the captured carcass full to win
> > The booty. Pittance guts. The wakes forego
> > Geometry. Morning of the fetish
> > Returns the bark tying jade dusk back with thin
> > String; it untied five thousand years ago.
> >
> >
> > --Anastasios Kozaitis
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