Francine Nicholson wrote:
>  So my
>question is not why they did it in hagiography, but was it a real,
>historical practice? And, if it was, how did the women feel about this
>practice--and how many women were raped in the process and who was blamed in
>such cases?
>

Some rambling thoughts on the history of the practice, which is often 
called syneisaktism.

Varied references throughout Christian history attest that it was an 
actual historical practice, though most sources were written by those 
who were hostile to it.  Syneisaktism, roughly defined as celibate 
cohabitation between an unrelated man and woman dedicated to the 
religious life, can take a wide range of forms.  It was believed to 
be a trial endured for heavenly reward (due to constant sexual 
temptation) and a form of realized eschatology (due to absence of 
sexual temptation); such ascetics also offered each other mutually 
rewarding friendship and support.  The earliest reference to the 
practice may come from Paul himself (1 Corinthians 7.36-38, 9.5). 
The first clear condemnation was from Cyprian in the third century, 
and it was subsequently denounced in over 20 councils and synods 
between 267 and 787.  The many criticisms written against it 
(including those by Jerome and Chrysostom) suggest that the sin in 
celibate heterosexual cohabitation was not sex, but the scandal it 
brought to others.  As Bernard of Clairvaux famously put it, "To be 
always with a woman and not to know her carnally, is not this more 
than to raise the dead?  The lesser of these you cannot do, so why 
shall I believe that you are capable of the greater?" He then 
described a life of close proximity between the sexes and added, "you 
wish to be thought continent?  Perhaps you are, but I doubt it."  To 
him it was a scandal and he argued that anyone who scandalized one 
member of the church transgressed against the entire church and, if 
not corrected, fell from sin into heresy.  To others, this scandal 
could be a motivation for syneisaktism--according to Giraldus 
Cambrensis, Aldhelm practiced syneisaktism "so that he might be 
defamed by men, but his continence rewarded the more copiously in the 
future by God, who understood his conscience."

Not all accounts are hostile, as you know yourself from the Irish 
sources.  Outside of Ireland, the most positive assessments come 
mainly from 12th-century France and England.  The Life of Christina 
of Markyate describes several relationships which could be considered 
syneisaktism, including one in which sexual desire grew too powerful 
and she had to flee from the situation; she was cured of her lust 
through a mystical experience with Christ, to whom she responded as 
both mother and lover--the man (a cleric) had already been cured by a 
vision of Mary Magdalene, who had vehemently chastised him for his 
attempted adultery with a bride of Christ; overall, however, the 
author seems favorable to the practice.  Eve of Wilton's syneisaktism 
with Hervey, formerly a monk of Vendôme, was praised by the poet 
Hilary, though he acknowledged that their relationship could easily 
be misunderstood:  "I feel that you are troubled, you who hear such 
talk.  Brother, avoid all suspicious thought; let this not be the 
cause.  Such love was not in the world but in Christ."  Libellus de 
diversis ordininibus et professionibus qui sunt in aecclesia promised 
that its second book would celebrate holy women, including "those who 
sweetly take up Christ's yoke with holy men;" unfortunately, if this 
book was ever written, it has since been lost.

Sharing the same bed wasn't always involved, but it was a critical 
factor for Robert of Arbrissel, at least according to Geoffrey of 
Vendôme's letter in 1102:  inter ipsas noctu frequenter cubare non 
erubescis.  Hinc tibi videris, ut asseris, Domini Salvatoris digne 
bajulare crucem, cum exstinguere conaris male accensum carnis 
ardorem.  Hoc si modo agis, vel aliquando egisti, novum et inauditum, 
sed infructuosum genus martyrii invenistis [you do not blush to often 
lie in bed between/among these women at night.  Hence you seem to 
yourself, as you assert, to worthily carry the cross of our Lord 
Savior, since you try to abolish the badly inflamed passion of the 
flesh.  If you do this now, or have done so at any time, you have 
contrived a new and unheard of but barren type of martyrdom]. 
Robert's response is not recorded.  This "barren martyrdom"  was also 
practiced by various 19th-century American Christian groups, who 
called it "bundling."  As in Late Antiquity and the Middle Ages, it 
often led to scandal.   Gandhi practiced it as well; whatever else he 
may have gained, his nightly exercises have aroused Mary Daly's ire, 
both for him and the practice in general ("What is really going on 
here is an enormous draining of women's energies into the 
phallocentric cesspool").

Ireland seems to offer the widest perspective on the practice, for, 
against, and indifferent, but we don't have any clear-cut firsthand 
perspective from a woman, with the possible exception of Comrac 
Líadaine ocus Cuirithir, which may well have been written by a woman. 
The experience of Liadain and Curithir is somewhat unusual, however, 
as they were lovers of a sort before either of them entered the 
religious life, and long before their failed experiment.  Your 
question as to how many women may have been raped in these 
experiments/relationships is an interesting one.  Mary Daly might 
argue that all the female participants are being raped in some 
fashion, but in what I've read the women do not seem unwilling. 
Scothín's companions in the Félire Óengusso are among the most 
objectified; they seem to be little more than props in Scothín's 
quest for spiritual purity (though they do advise Brénainn as to how 
he should best handle the situation); most of the other accounts I've 
read give a greater sense of equality between the male and female 
participants, and occasionally the women seem to dominate and/or 
initiate the relationship.  When they fail in their quest to 
transcend temptation, both the man and woman generally assume 
responsibility, though usually the woman does to greater degrees.

For some great work on the subject, see:  Roger Reynolds, "Virgines 
Subintroductae in Celtic Christianity," Harvard Theological Review 61 
(1968): 547-66; Rosemary Rader, Breaking Boundaries; Jo Ann McNamara, 
Sisters in Arms, and "Chaste Marriage and Clerical Celibacy," in 
Sexual Practices and the Medieval Church; Sharon Elkins, Holy Women 
of Twelfth-Century England; and Dyan Elliot, Spiritual Marriage 
(Spiritual marriage and syneisaktism are similar but different; the 
former being when husband and wife vow continence at the beginning of 
or at some other point in their marriage, whereas in the latter the 
participants are not married--at least, not to each other!).

Maeve